Welcome everyone! 

First let me say, thank you for coming to this webpage on this website, entitled "Truth Time".
Please review the material presented on this page, nothing fancy, just data. This is taken from the "page source" of the original wiki-page on that the owner of doesn't want the public to see, since it was "he" who placed a password for viewability on the site's original page, preventing anyone to view it unless they know the "password for viewing".. 

Since this is from the page source of the original wiki-page, it can be a little confusing and difficult to follow for some. For this reason, I'm going to also upload screen grabs of the original page, as well as screen grabs of the comments of the original page, which were made on the bottom of the original page. These will be on additional pages and the links to, will appear in the side column and I will add them to this page as well. 

As the comments show (below the page's content), NOT ONCE did ANYONE who commented to me on the original page, did they make ANY attempt to discuss the data presented, which was the intention behind creating the page to begin with. Also, most of the links will not take you to where they're supposed to, because Google modifies HTML when added to a Google Site page via the HTML Editor. 

The actual link is: and please note not too far down, the last author of the actual page:
2011-08-29 17:59:34
Last author: Hedda
Owner: Artsieladie

On 2011-08-29, the last author, Hedda (Henrik Hedda Wallin), placed a password on the page so the public could then NOT be able to review its contents.

My mission is to set the record straight. There's a person on the Web, who has and his name is Henrik 'Hedda' Wallin. He has the equivalent of a Masters in Computer Science and is a Computer Programmer. 

He has elected to defame my name all over the Internet and is denying me, MY work. If you Google "Artsieladie", you will see the notice associated with Artsieladie and where it states this:

Elftown secret service has made this comment about this member:

Banned for never ever stop spreading conspiracy theories, slander other Elftowners and basically flood new members with lies about Elftown and refusing to leave a lot of the old members alone, while spreading lies behind their back about it.

What the owner IS NOT telling the world, however, is what he is and has been subjecting me to, in accordance to a very large amount of data collected, which points to him. 

However, since "he" is making claims that "I" am lying and "I" am spreading conspiracy theories, why would "he" choose to HIDE the page from public view? Could it be because the data presented on the original wiki-page, which is being displayed here, implicates him? 

Not only is there THIS data that points to Hedda, but I have a ton more, which I also will be displaying for public viewing, and it will be including: messages, diaries, guestbook messages, comments, forum postings, AND emails, as well as countless screengrabs, which will depict the correspondence between him and I, including the threats he made against me, and also, to verify how I was treated by several members on the site and mainly of the site's council/crew, both past and present. 

I will also be providing MANY examples and information which also indicates that he accessed my computer without my permission EVER and more information in addition to what's presented below, indicating his involvement with the tampering of my phone. 
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Page name: Calls_To_Myself [Logged in view]
2011-08-29 17:59:34
Last author: Hedda
Owner: Artsieladie
# of watchers: 9
D20: 15
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An Elftown NON-Fantasy Wiki!


Affiliated with: Artsieladie and Cyberstalking.

This is just "one" of the many, many bizarre events that have been witnessed from my computer. Only in this case, it did not only occur via my computer, but also incorporated the use of my phoneline as well.

The goal here is to try to stick to pointing out the factors and pertinent information, because I want you, the reader, to draw your own conclusion(s). I may stray from this goal a bit here and there however, because one cannot be subjected to what I have been and for the length of time that I have been and not have some left over residual effects that usually will manifest into and thus revealing some emotional side effects.

Please also see:
"A Prerequisite"
"The Fracas"
"Update: ONE"
"Update: TWO"
"Update: THREE"

For those whom can't view the guestbook referred to in the diary, you may see its contents here:
For those whom can't view the diary entries referred to on this page, you may read their contents here:


Links of relevance to varying degrees:

Home// ~ ~
~ The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regulates interstate and
international communications by radio, television, wire, satellite and cable.


Also... pulling in these:


At the start...

In October, 2008, an event took place that I was made aware of and it was related to a person that stalked me in real life, both physically and through the use of my telephone, but as far as I know, the stalking ended in the early nineties. This person was an employee of the company I had my phone services with and he had my telephone tapped, so he could listen to all of the conversations that were carried out via my phone. All of the conversations on my phoneline were sent to a designated recording device, where he then listened to them. However, he also could infiltrate into conversations as they were underway. I'll write further about this horrible experience in another writing. The basic mention however, is needed here to fill in the blanks for the commencement of this strange scenario, or continual event.

In the evening of this day's awareness, a Sunday, I made a phone call to my sister. We talked about whether or not if this event would possibly stir up and commence more unwanted problems from the person that had stalked me in the past. May I also mention and/or remind that this stalker has an extensive knowledge of telephones, computers, hand radios, and just a very good all-around knowledge of electronics period.

Two days later, Tuesday, while I was online, I experienced receiving a type of phone call I had never before received, which I have dubbed since as a "Call To Myself". This call came in to my online voicemail and what was odd about this call was the fact that it came in with the following "caller" information, which is "my" name, "my" phone number, "my" exchange area, the date and time: 2008-10-21 3:36 p.m. (15:36:00) "my" time.


If you are wondering what could possibly be strange about this phone call, then allow me to add the "key" information that makes it or 'should have made it' impossible and this factor is: I have dial-up. For those of you that may not know, dial-up is a way to connect to the Internet through the use of your landline phoneline. The main factor in this regard is the fact that when using this method of connection, one CANNOT be online AND be able to use their phone AT THE SAME TIME. One can do one OR the other, but NOT both.

But ACCORDING TO THIS SCREEN CAPTURE, I was doing just this: I was both online AND using my phone AND to top this? Well, I was calling myself!! However, it is not even possible 'without' being online, TO call myself, because if I dial my "own" phone number from my "own" phone, I get this message: "The number you have dialed is not in service." It used to be however, if you 'called' your own number 'from' your own number, you would get a busy signal, which made sense, because if the phone is in use, then a call into it from anyone or anywhere, would be signaled as being in use or busy, because it is being used.


Reviewing related and pertinent history...

Since of my previous stalking subjugation and that part of this was performed through my phone and the fact the perp has also an extensive knowledge with computers as well, I assumed that what my sister and I had discussed on the phone was in fact being brought to fruition and so, I "assumed" this strange phone call was being somehow made possible by this said perp.


The "calls to myself" continued...

These "calls to myself" continued to come in many times, never with any particular pattern of frequency though, throughout the rest of October, during November, and December. I screen captured these "calls to myself" naturally, because it was just so weird to experience such, not to mention, the ever increasing question in my mind as to "how" could they be even taking place, particularly in lieu of the dial-up connection aforementioned. I was still assuming they were being made possible by the same stalking person.

During January and February, or 'most of' February, I did not get any of these calls. I was beginning to think, he had decided to give it up and I was relieved thinking he had.


A birthday greeting?...

But.. no such luck! On the 22nd of February at 11:11 a.m., another "call to myself" came in. The exactness of the time kinda' made me wonder a little, but mainly, here I had been thinking I was freed of this intrusion, only to have it come in after an almost two month period without any. To add a bit more mysteriousness to this particular call, it occurred ON MY BIRTHDAY (2/22). (Please make a mental note in regards to the 'time' AND the 'date', especially the time for it drives home a particular number 'twice' AND the only number missing in the "combined equation".)


Needless to say, I wasn't very happy about this for it certainly wasn't a welcomed birthday greeting, if you know what I mean. Then to think that my aforementioned stalker had still kept in his recollection the date of my birthday was a bit unsettling to put it mildly for this subjugation had been over and done with many years prior or at least, so I had thought it to be.

I thought about how I could possibly get some answers along the lines of just how this could be done in the first place beings that I have to use a dial-up connection. I know there are several people here on Elftown that know a good deal about tech stuff and I thought perhaps, someone here on Elftown could shed some light on the "how aspect". So I uploaded the screen capture of my birthday's "call to myself" and placed it in my diary, a public entry, which was an entry 'following' a secret one I had made (make a mental note about this secret diary entry as well). I was hoping that I would get some answers to a very puzzling situation.


A new mystery or now a compounded one?...

A few days later, I wanted to send the link to this diary entry of the "call to myself" to a friend, because they couldn't quite picture what I meant by writing an explanation of such. Since it is said a picture can be worth a thousand words, I decided to let the screen capture depict the scenario.

However, when I went to my diary page, the diary entry I had submitted with the screen capture in it of the birthday "call to myself" was GONE! GONE!! The 'secret entry' I had had there just before it, had then been made "public", which I did not appreciate in addition to the disappearing diary entry. I was fuming! But rather than simply assuming the worst, which I wasn't quite sure what the worst was at this point, after some thinking, I decided to message [Hedda], hoping he could shed some light on its disappearance. Not only now was this act of supposedly calling myself a mystery, but in addition to this, I had to wonder what the heck happened to my diary entry. Something strange was becoming even more strange!

Although I had more diary entries AFTER this particular one, I still thought that perhaps this was a bug situation. There had not been any really recent crashes, but even if there had, crashes affect and lose the 'latest' of features and do NOT go back through previous diaries, comments, etc., and pluck out randomly any of these. At least not that I know of, do they do this.


Some resulting correspondence...

(reference to, taken today 2011-03-02)

My message to [Hedda]:
Letter number: 75774068
From: [Artsieladie
To: [Hedda]
Sent 2009-02-27 21:18:00 (732 days ago)
Next in thread: 75785878

"Is there a bug that's making diary entries disappear? I seem to be missing a public diary entry made on 2009-02-22."

[Hedda] replied with:
Letter number: 75785878
From: [Hedda]
To: [Artsieladie]
Sent 2009-03-02 10:42:19 (730 days ago)
Previous in thread: 75774068
Next in thread: 75786611

"<blog:1067626> seems to be working just fine. It's written the 23rd, but about the 22nd. It even has a comment in <gb:1067627>

<blog:1067604> and <blog:1067533> are private notes written with that date too.

Happy belated birthday, I guess!"

My reply:
Letter number: 75786611
From: [Artsieladie]
To: [Hedda]
Sent 2009-03-02 17:09:22 (729 days ago)
Previous in thread: 75785878
Next in thread: 75786821

"<blog:1067626> <-- Not that one! It's not missing.

All I know is I entered <blog:1067604> then I entered the "diary that is now missing", then I entered <blog:1067626>. The missing diary entry was about a bloody phone call to myself that occurred on 2009-2-22 11:11 a.m. (my time). ...And in the process of losing this diary entry, <blog:1067604> which was made initially as a "secret diary" entry, transformed from a secret entry to a public one, which I didn't appreciate. I am not the only one that knows that my now missing diary entry was there and that the one before it was a secret diary.

All I wanted to know is how it is possible for me to call myself. I can't be online and use my phone at the same time, not on dial-up. If I were to call myself (don't know why I would do this), even offline, I would get a busy signal. But during this whole thing, I now know who did it and has been doing it. ;)"

[Hedda]'s reply:
Letter number: 75786821
From: [Hedda]
To: [Artsieladie]
Sent 2009-03-02 17:44:38 (729 days ago)
Previous in thread: 75786611

"I'm guessing that you didn't create <blog:1067626>, but instead somehow manage to edit the entry that is missing now. That's the only explanation I can think of."


Direction of thinking changing...

I knew darn sight well that it had existed as others can attest to both on Elftown and in real life and I did NOT delete it nor edit it, for I placed it there in an attempt to get some answers. The entry he is referring to: <blog:1067626> of course "I" created the entry! Who else would have? It's in MY diary afterall.

Of course, there is another factor present here that I just want to point out. The ONLY other person that can delete/get rid of a diary entry besides the member it belongs to, is the owner of the server that it is on. Since "I" didn't delete it, because I wanted to know "how" these "calls to myself" were occurring, there is only one other possible answer.

Needless to say at this point I was beginning to re-evaluate my line of thinking about the whole enchilada: the "calls to myself" AND the mysterious disappearance of my diary entry of the one on my birthday, but who wouldn't begin to get suspicious? This realisation only made the situation worse, because I really didn't want to think in the direction I was heading in. I didn't want to think it, much less know it.


Taking steps to solve the mystery...

I decided to purchase an extended area for calling. There was now a different person that could possibly be at the root of these "calls to myself", and the person, my previous stalker, was becoming less and less likely as the person behind these "calls to myself", but I wanted to either pull in as a viable suspect or rule out, any one that either 'could' be involved or 'could not' be involved.

I began making phone calls and I made MANY to one person. I was torn between suspecting, but not wanting to suspect the person I had begun to. I was hoping I could reach this person and talk and I was hoping there was some other explanation that this person could give me that would clear them of any suspicion I was leaning towards.

I tried calling all different times.. of the day and evening, as well as all different days of the week. Off the top of my head without digging out the records of these, I would say for a period of about three months, give or take, I tried calling. I easily made at least 30 or more "directly dialed" phone calls. Each time however, when I called this person's number, the little noises of the call going through I would hear, but then, there would be complete silence or dead air and then, I would get the sound of dial tone again.

About half way though this series of calls, the person got a new number. So I commenced the calling with the new number, but the same thing happened. I could get no completion of my calls!


The calling harassment continued...

Meanwhile, I kept getting these calls to myself, some of them have very close correlation or a very odd coincidence with particular events. A couple for instances: the timing of two calls coincide with two comments on a private wiki page here of mine. I got several "calls to myself" during March, 2009, but none during the period of three weeks that I was kept banned and the "calls to myself" commenced right after my banning was lifted.

I reached a point of thinking about giving up the attempts to call and try to reach this person, but since I was still being plagued with "calls to myself", I couldn't just simply let the idea go or ignore the calls, because it was irritating, frustrating, and annoying... just a few adjectives here.


What to make of this incident...


As can be seen, I am in a conversation which I took on, on the computer, which means I accepted and then talked to the person, my sister, while I was online. Eight ~"8"~ minutes into the conversation, I somehow "called myself" WHILE I WAS ALREADY TALKING TO SOMEONE ONLINE, which is quite remarkable in and of itself, let alone with dial-up. I cannot use my phone to call myself while I'm online, but it certainly appears here that I can AND I can also do it while "already talking to someone else besides"!? Does this seem weird at all OR simply nothing out of the norm?

I attempted to "take the second call on", if for no other reason than to see whom "I" was "calling myself"! But the caller hung up! Imagine that! Why, I hung up on myself! How rude of me to do this to myself! I really do need to speak to myself about such very rude behaviour, now don't I? *makes a note*

If it seems like I'm trying to laugh this off, it's exactly what I am doing and have tried to do through this and ALL the rest I've been made to put up with, that no one has wanted to hear. Trying to be rational or level headed or maintaining some sort of sense of humour has not been easy. Trying to figure out just whom is coming at you and from where would make ANYONE lose their sense of direction. It really is a miracle that I have not gone crazy, likely as the person behind this is so hoping for, so some additional satisfaction at my expense can be had, like: "I told you all so she was!" Try this hell sometime folks, and you'll come to know what I mean.. in spades.


An unexpected idea... a new plan of action...

One day just after waking up from a nap and out of the blue, an idea popped into my head. What if I try calling this person, right when I get the next "call to myself"? It didn't really make sense to me as to why this might help, but I thought, I had nothing to lose by giving it a try.

I moved the connection point from my computer to my phoneline close, within easy reach just over my monitor, so I could quickly and easily disconnect my computer from my phoneline. Signing off of line would take too long for me to be able to use my phone within seconds.

The next step was, I punched in the phone number to "directly dial" the person whom I had tried to call previously countless times, but was NEVER able to make a 'completed' connection. Then all I'd have to do after disconnecting the phoneline was hit 're-dial'. For some unknown reason, I seemed to sense the utmost importance of making the call immediately after getting a "call to myself".

With my phone right next to me, ready and waiting just to hit the re-dial button and the plug disconnection close to detach in an instant, all I had to do then was... wait. ...And.. so I DID!



Sure enough, BINGO! came a "call to myself"! All in a matter of seconds, I unplugged and hit re-dial. WHALAH!! Success! The call went through, a completed connection! Yepper! I heard the ringy-dingies. lol Another surprise.. a person answered ..and so be it, it was indeed the person I had been wanting to reach in so many prior attempts. We definitively established that we knew without question whom each of us was.

However, out of left field, the person made a statement that made little sense to me in concept, particularly of its origin: "If you don't like me, please don't call me again." and then hung up. *click* I tried to call back because I was confused as to why the person said what they said, but then all I was greeted with, was garble I couldn't understand, but even though I made no headway with the return call, it proved that the line was still "open", for I did not get dead air. Perhaps, the element of surprise had a lasting affect?


Contradiction of their own statement...

What the person said was a bit unsettling to me, because I did not know how or why such a statement had been made. So I sent the person an email and I told the person that I did like them. The person responded with: "I know how you feel and I'm not interested."

Okay, on the phone, I was told I did not like them. In the email response, I was told JUST THE OPPOSITE. Pure contradiction to their own statement, which made absolutely NO sense.


Recap... a theory... AND a VERY BIG QUESTION!!!

To recap the main stream: The ONLY time I was able to place a SUCCESSFUL call was immediately following a "call to myself". ..And since I made THEE phone call I just described, I do NOT get any more "calls to myself". Bingo! They stopped!!

It certainly would appear that this "could" have been part of some sort of plan to reinforce the notion around here that I'm just a paranoid lunatic. But.. it's just a logical theory. However, I have the evidence, I have witnesses, I have the records, the logs, etc., and these ARE NO THEORY, BUT FACTUAL and IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE ...and occasionally, I play back "thee" call I was able to make, just to listen to the conversation ...again.

The VERY big question here, however, IS:

How did this person know just when to START making these "calls to myself"? HOW? Because, as can be read in the very beginning, these "calls to myself" commenced only two days AFTER a phone conversation I had had with my sister. It's just a little TOO DAMN COINCIDENTAL!


See what resulted from creating THIS page...

Rather than re-writing it all here, please see the following diary/blog entries to see what transpired as a result of yours truly putting this page and the information on it together:

"A Prerequisite"
"The Fracas"
"Update: ONE"
"Update: TWO"
"Update: THREE"

For those whom can't view the guestbook referred to in the diary, you may see its contents here:
For those whom can't view the diary entries referred to on this page, you may read their contents here:
Now detectives, please draw your own conclusions. Comments may be made in the comment section at the bottom of this wiki-page. Please share this wiki-page everywhere and with everyone you know. People need to be made aware that some seemingly bizarre things ARE possible, even if they may, for the average person, seem more like they are too far-fetched or are way out there in the realm of "just not possible". If I can possibly help to spare others the hell I've been put through in the last four years, then at least I did not go through it all for nothing nor in vain.

God Bless Everyone! Be safe and never say "Never"!



As can be seen, I did not reveal the name of the person whom first, I had tried to call so many times, then was finally and ONLY able to reach IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING a call to myself, because I've been hoping that he and I could work things out between us. However, I now know this isn't possible. He is NOT interested in working anything out, but rather just interested in throwing more insults at me and hurting me more. But then, guilty people do tend to make the person or persons they are targeting in one fashion or another, out to be the bad person(s). This is a well known retaliatory tactic. In his latest correspondence with me (an excerpt of), he wrote:

"Stay away from me!" more... "I feel sad about that you're delusional..."

Well, I'm tired of being his scapegoat and being subjected to his treatment, the insults, the name calling, the threats from him, etc.. Now then, since I have exhausted every avenue I know of to work things out between him and I, including offering him my forgiveness if he would just be open and honest with me, I have concluded the only way to show whom it is that is really delusional, paranoid, a liar, etc., is to show and tell all I've gathered, so people can see for themselves, just whom the all-to-common "common denominator" is.

The person whom I finally was able to connect to on the phone, as I describe in detail above, is none other than: [Hedda] (Henrik 'Hedda' Wallin). Now, let's see if he will deny this fact, just as he did in regards to the little, red heart placement in my badge slot. ...And apparently DID make it look like I had never been to the invite page. The proof awaits!

Oh, one more thing... those Helkern Worms that were being sent to my computer that Kaspersky has warned me about but blocked? ...over a thousand of in a year! ..well, they've now stopped coming in. My last one was on March 19th, 2011 and the one previously sent before the 19th was on March 8th, 2011. I guess it can be quite easily calculated just whom was behind these as well? One would have to be bloody ignorant not to be able to put two and two together and not see the obvious.

It is rather interesting... I was navigating Elftown with no problem UNTIL I arrived here on THIS page, did this latest editing, and when I then tried to submit, I am now having problems.. errors, white pages, pages just sitting and not loading, etc.. Oh the timing! Oh, but what I just wrote, too! Ahh, but no one is watching me ..and very closely! ..And I have company at my house.. watching it all right along with me! I was wondering IF I was still being watched, considering "Stay away from me!" and all. Riiiiiiiight.

Don't you all know as well, that the moon is square? LOL If you're one that buys this, may I also interest you in some ocean front property in Arizona? I will even throw in the Golden Gate Bridge! Can't beat this deal! LOLOL


UPDATE 2011-08-03:

I recently paid out a considerable amount of money for computer techs to check out my computer. Part of the agenda was to find out how my computer is being compromised/accessed from an outside source. Among other findings, it was reported to me that my computer is being accessed from an outside source via my phoneline, at the point of the box where my phoneline feeds from, which means that not only is "my" phoneline subjected, but ALL the other lines that are also out of the same box.


Related Elftown Links:
<img:> ~ Call_Logs
<img:> ~ Coincidences
<img:> ~ Cyberstalking
<img:> ~ Kaspersky_Reports
<img:> ~ Kaspersky_Warnings
<img:> ~ Patience_Has-Run-Out
<img:> ~ Stalking-Cyberstalking_Ext-Commentary
<img:> ~ Victim_Of_Cyberstalking


Related [Artsieladie] Links:

      On Elftown:                                 

<img:> ~ Artsieladie/Artsieladie-A_Bit_About
<img:> ~ Elftown_Art_Gallery_Of_Artsie_ladie
<img:> ~ Elftown-Contributions_By_Artsieladie
<img:> ~ Elftown-Graphics_By_Artsie_ladie
<img:> ~ Elftown_Photo_Album_Of_Artsie_ladie
<img:> ~ Elftown_Poetic_Library_Of_Artsie_ladie
<img:> ~ Elftown_Prose_Library_Of_Artsie_ladie
<img:> ~ Elftown_Wiki_Webrary-Artsieladie

      Other Websites:                      

<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~


To become a member of Elftown, click on:


May God Bless You and Have a Great Day!

May the love of God always touch and live within your heart!

By [Artsieladie]

All creativity on this site, including but not limited to, the art, writing, poetry, ideas and concepts, etc., created
and brought forth by [Artsieladie], aka Sharon Donnelly, is therefore owned by and copyrighted to the same, its creator. It may NOT be used, modified, copied, reproduced, or anything else without my expressed, written permission PER ITEM, including my nearly 11,000 graphics on this site.
To contact [Artsieladie], aka Sharon Donnelly:
Text ONLY emails! Non-compliance means deletion!


Relevant Links:
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~
<img:> ~


NOTE: The phone number shown is NOT my personal number now, but a number I use for my business. My personal (cell) numbers are private and aren't given out, which I'm particularly happy about here.

2011-05-05 [Sir_Hans]: Not a single comment to this page and its categorical affiliated pages? This information places definite suspicion on one person on this site, but all those that have had so much to say against Sharon now have nothing to say? 


2011-06-20 [pixish]: Maybe if she'd been upfront about any of her issues instead of going about the place telling half of a story with her 'I know something you don't know...but I'll tell day' attitude things might have been different. Maybe if she had bothered to pay attention or acknowledge all of the helpful advice people had given her in regards to her problems that she didn't want to hear - things could have been different. Maybe people would have cared, but I think this has just gone on for too long and she has hurt and annoyed a lot of people. She wants help now, when people were offering it long ago and their help was ignored. To be honest, everyone's a bit tired of the drama. :)


2011-06-20 [pixish]: But it's so great that she has you, Hans! Why don't you take her on a nice holiday or something and give her a break ;)

2011-06-20 [Artsieladie]: Upfront with any of my issues??? :( When I tried to be, I was repeatedly doubted, circumvented, and ridiculed, but only with "certain" parts, the parts of which that could be twisted against me.

Do you or does anyone here know, I mean KNOW FIRST HAND, what it is like to finally have to face the fact that your life has become WAAAAAAAY more interesting to someone else than it should be? ..And 'should be' because someone is using ABNORMAL MEANS to learn about you, to watch every thing you do, read every thing you write, and then to ALSO find out that topics in your PRIVATE "phone conversations" are also sprouting seedlings as well?

Do you or does ANY BLOODY ONE here KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW what it is like to finally KNOW that your computer is being monitored by someone else, but because it is such a DIFFICULT thing to prove, because as with "most" computer users, I do not very often have an audience with me while I'm using my computer, your ONLY recourse is to try and get every bit of evidence you possibly can, save it, document it, time line it, correlate it, etc., until you FINALLY have enough to where you can finally see a "common denominator"? ..And then, to have the fact that because you used the only recourse you had, you were ridiculed even more, because you in essence did the SMART thing and gathered whatever proof you could.

But... BUT... then when what you have gathered enough to which it points to ONE person, but that person is someone you don't really WANT it to be, and God knows I DIDN'T and I still DON'T! are then literally torn up inside, because you then know you ultimately will have to point a finger at a person you have admired and thought so highly of, is thee person that is at the very root of your subjugation. I didn't want this to be him! I was hoping that 'someone' here could make him see that what he was doing to me was wrong and that they could just get him to stop, but first... FIRST... I needed ONE bloody person here to at the very least, give me just a one tiny ounce of credit, that I wasn't just saying what I was saying to hear myself talk. But any of those that I NEEDED to listen, refused to listen, but worse, they dismissed what I was going through and then ADDED ridiculing me on as an extra slap in my face.

I needed people to at least have an open mind that what I was at first suspecting, but then forced by evidence collected, was something I WAS and STILL AM going through. But no, I did not get an ounce of consideration in this regard. I was immediately and repeatedly said to be "imagining" everything, that I was just a paranoid lunatic that needed to get help. Then as though this wasn't enough, I was then also put down and made a mockery of for all I have done for this site. My dedication was sneered at and called obsession. Others here are "dedicated" but I am "obsessed"? 

Lerune is the ONLY one that was willing to listen. Hence, she became the only one that took the initiative to investigate and so, she learned herself that I wasn't just making everything up. She was the ONLY one that cared to hear what I was needing for people here to hear, but others chose instead to turn a deaf ear, or minimise or try to get me to buy something that I knew wasn't right because I knew "something" was going on that shouldn't have been going on, and so did they, know the same, but didn't want to believe that what I was experiencing, I really was, and then participated in the mockery of me, which IS called mobbing, if anyone cares to know. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if anyone would have at least, given me an ounce of credit that what I was saying or trying to, could in fact possibly BE true, but no one did, until Lerune couldn't just let it be simply dismissed, because as most people are aware of, even the biggest, most unimaginable thing, has a beginning. But people here treated me like I was just pulling everything out of my hat for the hell of it, which if anyone knew me personally, as my sister does, my daughter does, and Hans does, to name a few, then they would know that I'm not the kind of person that merely goes around dreaming and scheming things up. I have more than enough on my plate as it is, so I am certainly not about to just pile more on top of it. But even people that KNOW me personally and spoke on my behalf, well then, I was simply imagining them all as well!

Did I go about things the right way? No, I made many mistakes, but I can't take them back. But... I am not the ONLY one here that has made mistakes and I am certainly not the one that's "hiding the truth".

There are people here now that know what I have been subjected to AND they know that their quick judgment of me was erroneous, but do they stand up and say so? Not yet!

I have offered and I have said several times, that I would just like ALL of this to be put out on the table and discussed so ALL that ultimately became involved can get this ironed out, to put it to rest, put it behind all of us, INCLUDING Hedda, but NO ONE as far as I can see is willing to do this. Therefore, it stands to reason that I am not the ONLY one that has some stuff to face up to and admit. At least however, I am a big enough person to be willing to give it one hell of a shot. Anyone want to also "stand up to the plate"?

In the very beginning when everything was still in its beginning stages, "I" went to Hedda about what I suspected was happening; just suspected at that point. I did so for the purpose of getting to the bottom of what I thought at the time, "may" be going on. I wanted to nip in the bud whatever it was at that point, because I didn't want it to spiral out of control, develop into something bigger, as so many here now know that it has, but instead of Hedda being forthright with me then, he chose an alternate route, which only contributed to everything that has transpired since. It was when I could get no answers from Hedda, that I then went the alternate route "I" did, to try and get some answers, but basically all I got was stonewalled ultimately with this route as well. But yet, all that has transpired is ALL my fault and everyone else that became involved is blameless? I have no problem with being accountable for my errors in judgment and resulting actions, but I'll be damned if I will be accountable for ALL the wrongdoings of others. My accountability for my errors is my job; the accountability for the errors of others belongs with those that have made them.

Hedda told Hans that "he" knows NOTHING about this... what you see for yourself on this page. What does this say to anyone? Just like Hedda doesn't KNOW anything about a certain little red heart either, I suppose? Bullcrap! I KNOW FOR A FACT that Hedda put the heart in my badge slot AND Hans witnessed the very same, but yet, I am expected to back down and say that he didn't? ..And so is Hans who also witnessed it? In order for me to do this, "I" would have to lie and say that Hedda did not put it there, that he did not also take the VERY SAME HEART out when he banned me (not any other heart, mind ya, just.. that.. 'one'), but "I" am NOT going to lie for Hedda nor anyone else!

But... what's even more important about that little red heart placement IS the oddity that Hedda does not want to acknowledge he did. Why? Who is it here that can't know that he did? Is placing a little red heart in Artsie's badge slot by the mayor himself such a terrible thing? Is it a crime of some sort here on Elftown? If he had given say, Sunrose, just for an example, a little red heart in 'her' badge slot, would he have then denied he did? In fact, why has Hedda gone the route he has.. period? I have noticed that some here don't seem to like the fact that I liked Hedda. Why? In fact, I still do like Hedda. All I want from Hedda is for him to be honest with me and to give 'me' the chance to understand why he has done and does what he does. I want the chance to be given to me to forgive him by him and he is the only one that can. This is not something that anyone else can do for him, although he may think others can intercede for him. They cannot. ..And is it also possible, if the same were to be in reverse about whom liking whom, would this be such a terrible thing, too?

It's so easy for some here to stand in judgment of me and say that this is the way I should have done this or that or that is the way I should have done this or that, but I would certainly like to know how anyone here can presume to know anything, considering they haven't been going through the same kind of hell that I have. No one can presume to know anything any better or how they would do things any better, if they haven't been made to walk in the same shoes as another has been made to walk in.

I still love Elftown. In fact I am still doing things behind the scenes for this site. Anyone else in my shoes wouldn't even slightly entertain an inkling to do anything for this site whatsoever, but my love for Elftown is greater than the pain I've had to endure here, and so, yes, I can say with absolution that I truly LOVE Elftown. It is not obsession.. it IS dedication to/for something, a community, a place, I still DO believe in and if there's ANYONE here that wants to deny me this, dispute this? Well, then, too bad, because my commitment to this site SPEAKS VOLUMES! Like it, or lump it!

Instead of displaying resentment towards me because I am and have been committed to seeing this site be all it can be, I think it's about damn time I was cut a little damn slack and given an ounce of credit at least that I'm dedicated, NOT obsessed. Because I put together a "private" page about what I've done for this site BECAUSE I AM PROUD OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE and still am, this does not give ANYONE the bloody right to come onto MY PRIVATE PAGE and start to harass me, which began with a vice mayor and a guard at the time, but the guard is now the vice mayor. I DID NOT start the whole shebang that transpired on my 'love for a community - Elftown' page and even when I tried to stop it by getting rid of the harassing comments, in hopes it would just blow over, go away, I was still then repeatedly harassed and then several other people here just capitalised on the whole thing, making 'me' out to be the bad person in it all. But the two instigators that started it all, refuse to stand up to the plate and acknowledge this fact.

*sigh* But all this does me absolutely no good, so I don't even know why I bother. All those that have basked in making me out to be some awful person, aren't willing to tell their part in all of this. I've been the one that was literally ostracised and unmercifully crucified here, put through a hell that likely most can't even begin to imagine nor even care to, and no one that should care to try and make things right here can be so bothered. Instead, just label all I've been subjected to as "drama", so it can be just shoved conveniently under the rug... and of course, still.. at MY expense. I hope it makes everyone its applicable to, feel so much better about themselves. But just remember, I'm still the one that even though wronged, am still willing to work this out, but I will NOT "lie" to do this, because lies don't heal, they just make the wounds deeper.

2011-06-20 [SilverFire]: Since I've just been mentioned, I'll drop in a two-cents, but I'll not be watching this page, so if you have an issue with me, you can message me about it (by the way, I never received a reply to the last message I sent you, in which I DID say: "For my part, I'm certainly willing to talk to you, but what you suggest can only happen if you are prepared to believe that we have put our cards on the table when we do." So I rather resent you saying no one is/was prepared to discuss things with you :p)

Since you deleted the comments on that page, and it was a long time ago, I don't really remember what I said. I remember finding it slightly contradictory that you said a lot about NOT "tooting your own horn" but then links to this wiki that listed everything you'd ever done seemed to appear everywhere (especially since you once told me it was just a private page to remind you what you'd done when you doubted how much you did). The two facts just didn't sit right, you know? Do one or the other, I don't really mind, but doing both just confused me. :) Anyway, I probably was rude, sarcastic and ironic back then: and even if I wasn't, I fully accept that it certainly seemed that way. So I apologise for my past rudeness: I'm sorry. Hopefully you can forgive me, and at least that one thing can be laid to rest now. I'd hate to think that a few careless comments from me on a wiki years ago was still upsetting you. :)

2011-06-20 [Artsieladie]: You never received a reply message from me, because you want me to accept that Hedda "didn't" put the heart in my badge slot, when I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE DID and so does Hans because he witnessed it with me.

Without going back to quote anything, roughly you said something about Hedda had done some screen capture thingy to show that he didn't or something like this. Well, Hedda also made the invite page appear as though I had never been there, apparently, which even [True, plain and simple] was fooled into thinking that "I" was lying about inviting someone to Elftown, but we all know that "I" did invite someone, which I have proven to be so, now don't we? I was credited at first for doing so, but after Hans revealed whom he was, my credit for inviting him was then taken away. ..As anyone can also see that it says still that I've invited "0" members in my house.

So, so much for Hedda's so called "See!? I didn't put it there!" Well, Hedda IS lying for whatever 'his' reason being is.

As much as it would be just wonderful if I would accept all the blame for everything and "lie" for Hedda and say that he did not put that little red heart in my badge slot, it would only make everyone else involved in this whole mess seem like they are the perfect little angels and I'm the rogue. Well, this isn't the case. There have been many mistakes made all the way around and circumvention will never be a suitable fix it, especially when there has been too much of it already.

So, it was okay if I 'made' a private page displaying what all I've done, as long as I didn't ever mention it anywhere? Now you have me confused.

I am willing to put past whatevers behind us, but I won't EVER agree to say something when I know it isn't true. Hedda put the heart in my badge slot and he took it out. When he is willing to stand up and admit he did, then maybe, just maybe, some healing here may begin. There may be a hell of an explosion if he does! ...though, because Hedda also knows how that that simple, single little action ties in with a much, much bigger picture. ....And here lays the problem... This page and what it reveals, is only just another part of this much bigger picture as well that no one is meant to ever know or see in its entirety... you, I, or anyone else.

SilverFire I do wish that this could be rectified. I do wish that you and I could work on the same side of the track because we both want what is best for Elftown, even if we do have differing views, but I will NEVER say that Hedda didn't, when I KNOW he DID! But... I do VERY much appreciate your apology, probably more than you know. I'm sorry things have gone sour between you and I, between others and I, but I can't try to make amends if others aren't willing to make some concessions as well. The fact that you just apologised is perhaps a start? If so, I would like this very much.

2011-06-20 [SilverFire]: I don't think we're ever going to agree about the heart thing, because I have a very clear memory of putting it there and later removing it, which is the difference between this instance and whatever happened with the invite thing: no one else is claiming the blame for that (and no matter how good someone is at manipulating code, they can't manipulate my memory :p) I AM claiming the blame for the heart-thing. And I am doing so because I am an honest person who believes – just like you – in accepting responsibility for my mistakes (and not those of others). It's odd that us both acting on the same principle leaves us at such odds. :P However, I'm still willing to discuss it. What exactly is it you and Hans saw that convinced you that it was Hedda, and not I, who edited your badge slot? Obviously, ET doesn't show you who is editing a house (or, indeed, even that a house is being edited): so what is it that so convinced you?

So, it was okay if I 'made' a private page displaying what all I've done, as long as I didn't ever mention it anywhere? Now you have me confused.
Sure. I don't get what's confusing there, so I'm not really sure how to clarify, but I'll have a go anyway. :) You once told me that the page was there for your personal benefit: to remind you at times of all the things you'd done. Having such a page isn't at all at odds with the idea that you dislike 'tooting your own horn', and in fact gels with it rather well. But then the page (to me) seemed to suddenly become public, and be linked to lots. To me, that's no longer a page to remind you of what you've done if you ever doubted it, but to 'toot your own horn'. I don't really mind whether people like to show off what they did or not, or keep it private, but I find it a bit inconsistent to say one and do the other. Which is what appeared to be happening from my point of view. :)

2011-06-20 [Artsieladie]: Okay, I'll try to explain. It was the day after Valentine's Day. Hans was at my house, no surprise here. I was on Elftown as I always was and going here and there, when I noticed I had "a" new guestbook message. I immediately went to my house, because for some reason, I like to go to my house to see on my last visitor's list whom has visited my guestbook, and yes, even though, it no longer works as it used to.

However, when I got to my house, there wasn't a name at the top of my list that would indicate the guestbook visitor because they didn't click "add me".

Anyway, I scrolled down to my house's badge slot just to see if someone had added something or changed my badge slot. Funny thing is, even though I had a 'new' badge, it wasn't the badge that I noticed first. It was the "additional" heart, because "my" heart "I" had already put in there for decoration, was right in the middle, a symmetry thing/issue I have (which you like things centered as well), but this "new" one was suddenly there off to the right of it, which threw my entire badge slot off.

It was then I noticed that I had a 'new' badge, the Inspector's Badge, and this 'new' little red heart was put "with" the link for the Inspectors (at that time). So whomever had just brought me the new badge, ALSO put the heart in when they did.

Naturally, I immediately went to my "one" guestbook message then, and this is when I saw that it was Hedda that had delivered the 'new' badge, the Inspector's Badge.

Hans whom had been sitting next to me, sitting on the arm of my big comfy chair no less, actually drew the same conclusion, only "he" was none to happy about it. "I" was like: "How neat! Aww, look what Hedda did! Wasn't that sweet of him?"

Hans, let's just say, developed an instantaneous attitude because Hedda did this. In fact (and Hans will verify this), Hans retorted with: "Sure, I give you a special card and flowers and Hedda gives you a stupid little heart and you act like he just gave you the freaking world! What the hell is what I gave you then?"

Besides this, it wasn't all that long before this, that I had sent to Hedda a screen grab of my diary which showed how my badge slot was just a little before Hedda was in it, and it shows that only the little red heart that "I" had put in there was there, but after Hedda was in my badge slot, the "new" little red heart to the right of it was suddenly there.

You, SilverFire were in my badge slot not too long after Hedda was in it, but the extra little red heart was in there before you had arrived.

This is why, I'm not trying to say you are lying, because if you look at my guestbook, you'll see the time frame between your visit to my guestbook and Hedda's on the same day is very close. IF.. I had had "two" guestbook messages, instead of just the one, when I FIRST went to my guestbook, it would have been you I would have said such nice things about to Hans and he wouldn't have gotten a jealous attitude. But.. this is not the case, because I had just the one GB message and you had not been to my guestbook yet. Only Hedda had been in my guestbook at that point and at the same point my badge slot had not only acquired a new badge, but also, a new, little, red heart.

So I can understand that you 'think' you put it there and no, I'm not trying to say anything else here like you're stupid or that you don't remember. I, too, used to do badging, so I know that when you do many, you don't always remember every single detail in every single badge slot, especially when you do a lot of them and this isn't meant to say you have memory lapses either. I'm just trying to say that I do remember what comes with the territory.

But... Hedda KNOOOOOOOOOOOWS HE PUT THAT HEART IN MY BADGE SLOT, so do I, so does Hans. Hans is no way going to back down, especially when he KNOWS that Hedda did this and other stuff as well. Besides, Hedda made things personal with Hans, when Hedda had no reason to with an email he sent Hans. Then like this wasn't enough, Hans' email account "mysteriously" went bye-bye, the very same account that had that email in it that Hedda had sent to him. None of his other email accounts went south, just the one with the nasty email in it to Hans about me, knocking me to Hans. Unfortunately for Hedda however, Hans made copies of every transaction in and out of that account, but then he would instinctively, because Hans is an investigator. ..And the fact that he is an investigator, also places him as a "credible witness" to this, and so much more.

So why isn't Hedda just admitting about the heart -or- is he afraid to admit it? ..And if so, why? What repercussions will Hedda have to face if he does admit to the little heart episode? ..And if he should admit to it, what will begin to unravel as a result?

Now, about the wiki-page thing... I will admit that I likely did go overboard with mentioning it and normally I don't really push for credit for stuff I've done. But to be blatantly honest, I felt that everything I was doing was being deliberately overlooked, dismissed, or minimised at best, which I didn't feel was right. It seems that others were always being told what a wonderful job "they" were doing, but when it came to me, well, I was made to feel like I was just interfering. Others were "helping, doing wonderful", but "I" was "interfering". I, too, have busted my hump for this site, and LOVED doing it mind you, just as others have contributed, but when I placed what I had done on the Crew Builders' page, it was suddenly stated the page had to be "cleaned up". Yes, I did eventually place on the Crew page some of what I had done, but so did others, but why was mine suddenly seen as so terrible? Was it because I had so much to put on there? It's not like I hadn't done it, but yet, I was made to feel like crap because I did display what all I've done. Just because I had done a lot, it didn't warrant the treatment that I received. All I wanted was for one of the crew to say "wow", acknowledge my efforts, but no, I was made to feel like all that I had done was something awful, something ugly, and then ultimately labeled as "obsession". Others' efforts are "dedication", but mine is "obsession". How was I supposed to feel?

Maybe, part of the reason I was feeling this way, too, was because of what I was being subjected to both on the site and off as well, but no one here realised this, because not one of the ones that I needed to listen, would listen, but just kept dismissing everything and then making fun of me to boot. Does anyone have ANY idea the emotional trauma this has brought me, being watched every bloody second of every bloody second I am online? Then trying to get someone, anyone, to listen, to help me? ...And no one would!? I am damn lucky I do still have my sanity even though some people here would just love to dispute this and likely are. All I can say, I hope not one of you that has, ever become subjected to the unwanted surveillance to the degree that I have been, because it is HELL to try and deal with and an even bigger HELL to try and get people to hear you.

2011-06-20 [SilverFire]: The thing is, I find your badge slot really complicated and scary, and always worry that I'll mess something up, so I remember it quite distinctly. I didn't realise that the heart was there by your valentine stuff, I thought it was a symmetry thing which the new badge had mucked up, so I added one in. It was also I who removed it later, when I realised why the original heart was there in the first place. I was doing several badgery things around that time. One of them was changing all the 'Masters" links to go to Badgers and Inspectors. Unfortunately, Hedda didn't (and still doesn't) remember that those links have changed, so I often check right after he updates the pages to check what link he has left in the badge slot. If that happens, and I edit the badge slot to fix the link, I don't usually bother to comment in the GB. With all due respect, I see nothing in your account which proves that it was Hedda, and not I. Naturally, I can understand why, given the evidence you had, you would assume it was Hedda - that's a perfectly reasonable assumption, but I still remember the 'oh god, how do I edit this? Symmetry..., tags... argh!' :P So once again we're in the same position: You can understand why I think what I do, but ultimately you don't believe me, and vice-versa. I understand why you think as you do, but ultimately, I don't believe you, either. o.<

As a side note: I've heard rumour that (you think that)your badge slot is out of date. If you'd like to tell me what it is I'll check and try and fix things. :)

Re: crew building. I don't suppose you'll believe that was a coincidence? That you editing the page gave someone a notification of it and they looked at it and thought 'woah! something needs to be done about the organisation on this page'? <_< All I see in the past comments of this page is a discussion about the fact that only half the crew bother to list stuff, and that one person should be in charge of tracking what people do and listing it. I don't think anyone minded you listing what you'd done on crew building (that would be a bit silly, since it was the entire purpose of the page), it was just the sudden links to your "private" page, after we'd all got used to the idea that you didn't like doing stuff like that. :) "Was it because I had so much to put on there? " That is an entirely silly suggestion, and I'm slightly saddened you feel other crew members could be quite that petty. Especially since some of them have even more to list, after all :P

We always notice when other people get thanked and when we don't, but we rarely notice when other people don't get thanked. Some crew members are really good at remembering to thank people. Other's aren't. I often don't remember to thank people, and I know I've not been thanked for a lot of the stuff I do. I've never assumed it was anything personal.

Actually, several of the crew have been subject to stalking, so yes, I'm sure some of them know very well how you feel. ;)

2011-06-20 [Artsieladie]: "I didn't realise that the heart was there by your valentine stuff, ..."

But this is just it, SilverFire, "my" heart "I" had put in my badge was NOT between my Valentine Painters' and Poets' links originally. It was in the middle, to the right of St Valentine Poets and to the left of Donors of Writing, which placed it smack in the middle at that time as can be seen in the screen grab, which I have already sent as also can be seen.

After awhile, not immediately, "I" then moved the heart "I" had placed "in the middle" over to the left, which then placed it between the two Valentine links, because "I did not want to disturb or move, definitely not 'remove' that wonderful little red heart surprise that Hedda had delivered to me!" For bloody once, Hedda made me, ME, feel special, that I did matter after all. But it was like his and my little secret. I didn't want anyone on the site TO know, because I knew that because he had done such a nice thing for "me" others would resent it and I think, if the truth be known, so does he know the same, and this is why he did it so no one would notice.

So, Hedda KNOWS also that I LOVED that little red heart he delivered MORE than all my badges put together and so, he also KNEW that by removing it, it would really hurt me. It was HIS way to get back at me for telling him that I was going to leave Elftown. ...And he KNEW just what heart "to remove" and what heart not to, because he KNEW just which one he had placed there! ..And then when he removed the heart he put in there, he once again, left my badge slot no longer symmetrical, because then there was just the one that I had moved over to the left the only one with his no longer on the right to balance the symmetrical effect out.

If you are so clear in your mind about putting it there, you would be able to provide much better details, but you can't provide something you don't know or have.

Here are some of your claims:
Letter number: 76094459
From: [SilverFire]
To: [Artsieladie] (OMG! My new pc is an AWESOME machine! Luv it! :D)
Sent 2009-05-20 06:44:41 (761 days ago)

"Your puzzle wiki:

I'm really sorry to have caused you such confusion, but it was me. :(

I badged you in February to give you the historian badge, and was trying to figure out what pattern you were using with the images between each word, I finally decided it was the heart since that made it symmetrical, so I put that. Later, when I badged you to give you the badger badge, I was looking at it again, again trying to figure out what image to use. A few days later I suddenly realised the valentines one had a heart because it was valentines (d'uh, how stupid am I?) and that the correct one should be the leaf angling right, so I changed it. :S *hides*


2009-05-19 [SilverFire]: I'm really sorry to have caused you such confusion, but it was me. :(

I badged you in February to give you the historian badge, and was trying to figure out what pattern you were using with the images between each word, I finally decided it was the heart since that made it symmetrical, so I put that. Later, when I badged you to give you the badger badge, I was looking at it again, again trying to figure out what image to use. A few days later I suddenly realised the valentines one had a heart because it was valentines (d'uh, how stupid am I?) and that the correct one should be the leaf angling right, so I changed it. :S *hides*


...and then again...

2009-05-20 [SilverFire]: Reposting, since it got bumped off:

I'm really sorry to have caused you such confusion, but it was me. :(

I badged you in February to give you the historian badge, and was trying to figure out what pattern you were using with the images between each word, I finally decided it was the heart since that made it symmetrical, so I put that. Later, when I badged you to give you the badger badge, I was looking at it again, again trying to figure out what image to use. A few days later I suddenly realised the valentines one had a heart because it was valentines (d'uh, how stupid am I?) and that the correct one should be the leaf angling right, so I changed it. :S *hides*


...and another....

2009-12-08 [SilverFire]: I badged you several times, to give you credit for various different pieces of work you'd done. I can't remember which exact time it was, because I badged you several times, but I remember doing it. I thought the heart should be there to make the badge slot symmetrical. Later, I realised that the heart was there because it was a Valentine's contest, and thus that symmetry wasn't your intent, so I removed it. I'm sorry I can't remember the exact dates I badged you for various things.

Well, it's perfectly clear that aren't as clear in your mind as you are trying to say here. So, isn't it possible that you are mistaken about placing the heart in my badge slot? It appears with everything gathered together now.. here... that you really aren't all that clear in your mind.

But I AM CLEAR! Hans is! ..And so are our memories. So why can't you consider that both Hans and I are speaking the truth about what we "witnessed". Who is going to fault you? I'm certainly not going to. As I've stated before, I'm not insisting on this just to cause 'you' any kind of grief. I simply WANT the truth and spoken from the person who DID actually put the heart in my badge slot.

Why is this such a problem anyway? What's the damn big deal about Hedda putting a little red heart in 'my' badge slot? If I were to guess, I think Hans might not be the only one with a problem with it. But, eh, it's just a guess!
Letter number: 75714186
From: [Artsie_ladie] (OMG! My new pc is an AWESOME machine! Luv it! :D)
To: [Hedda] (I can edit mood)
Sent 2009-02-15 17:31:56 (854 days ago)
Next in thread: 75714347

"This is a screen cap of a secret diary entry. Are the asterisks supposed to be red and some of the text blue?"


Letter number: 75714347
From: [Hedda] (I can edit mood)
To: [Artsieladie] (OMG! My new pc is an AWESOME machine! Luv it! :D)
Sent 2009-02-15 19:15:30 (854 days ago)
Previous in thread: 75714186
Next in thread: 75714490

"Well, no. The tables were cached and would look the same in all places regardless if colours where allowed there or now. Worse was that if the table where the colours don't work would be view first, then your badge-slot would have gotten its colours broken.

Fixed in the upcoming version! Thanks!"

Letter number: 75714490
From: [Artsie_ladie] (OMG! My new pc is an AWESOME machine! Luv it! :D)
To: [Hedda] (I can edit mood)
Sent 2009-02-15 20:07:00 (854 days ago)
Previous in thread: 75714347

"I see. It happened awhile ago, too, but finding the other example, well, it would take me a month of Sundays. I really should try to index my diary entries, so I can find things more easily. :P

You're welcome!"

GB Messages:
From: Hedda
Sent: 2009-02-15 19:12:17 (854 days ago) Next in thread: 1066752

Thanks for the nice bugreports!"

My response:
1066752 Written in Hedda's guestbook.
From: Artsieladie
Sent: (854 days ago)
Previous in thread: 1066729 from Hedda to Artsieladie

"Ooh, thankies for the badge! :D You're welcome! :D"

YOUR GB Messages:
From: SilverFire
Sent: 2009-02-15 19:47:36 (854 days ago) Next in thread: 1066753

"Ur beaver badge, I updates it. You're now a Great Grand Master builder. :3"

My response:
From: Artsieladie
Sent: (854 days ago)
Previous in thread: 1066731 from SilverFire to Artsieladie

"Ooh, thankies for the badge! :D"


My badge slot is way out of date and has been for a very long time. But as with most everything here, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm just nothing but a waste here and could care less about anything that relates to me. But interesting though.. the "rumor" aspect. Would you care to clarify what you mean exactly about this, umm, "rumor" thing?

Well, now see, I gotcha' there! I would believe it, because I do tend to be overly sensitive at times, but maybe it's because I've been kicked aside so many times in my life period, after what was wanted to be gotten out of me and then just kicked to the curb afterwards, used and shit on basically, but I never expected to be here, too. But I also know, that most everything there is, has even the tiniest grain of origin or truth, to be closer with the actual saying. So it is very possible I was and am overly sensitive, but when I add everything else into the mix, like how I was treated in the forums many times by others, and too many other instances to list them all here, it also stands to reason why I would draw such a conclusion as well. It's not the constant thank you, thank you, thank you, ..... that I'm talking about. It's the overall general feeling that no matter what I did, it just wouldn't ever be right or I was always viewed as a person that was "interfering", NOT helping, but "interfering" was how I was viewed as being, while others were the real helpers.

I was accused of playing games when I wasn't. I was just trying to state that what I was doing is what Hedda had asked to be done a number of times. But... did Hedda admit that I "wasn't" playing games and tell the person that accused me of such, that I wasn't? That I was simply doing as he himself had asked to be done several times? No, of course not! HE BLOODY BANNED ME OVER IT! ...And for doing as HE wanted done! ...And stripped of my privs and everything else! But... I'm NOT supposed to be angry or hurt or anything? I was accused of conspiracy with another ET member, but when I said this and told Hedda where he could find the proof, which I'm sure he looked and then saw I was right, did he bother then to apologise either!? Hell no!

Which reminds me, speaking of forums... Why were all of my postings deleted in the what, Assembly forum?

I do feel weird when I feel I have to say things I've done. I'd rather not actually, but by the same token, I'm not about to be used and then thrown away like I'm just some sort of piece of crap either. Apparently, I was feeling this way, and as I've stated, likely in part of my own thinking because of my sensitivity issues, but also not completely unfounded either. I'm willing to meet in the middle. Is everyone else?

I don't even go to the My Day forum since I was last attacked there, which I chose to ignore hoping it would just be the end of it, but nope! I was then attacked in my GB and so I very seldom go in there any more either. I only just went in my guestbook now to pull up the messages and I just saw your message and Linderel's in there. It would suit me just fine if I had no guestbook at all as a matter of fact. It used to be something that delighted me to see I had a GB message, but no more. Now I'm afraid to even go in there for fear what I'll find waiting there for me. It's pretty much the same with the forums, too. 

Do you or anyone here know what it feels like to no matter where I go on here, I am faced with another slap in my face over and over again? Every single time I look at my badge slot, it's a bloody slap in my face. Then when I go to some of my own wiki-pages I've created, I've been removed as the owner of them, whilst it has NOT been done with others? I was told that when people mod a contest, they NEED to put the ownership in their name "so they can edit the page" more easily. Well, I've been watching and I see now that the pages were taken out of my name and placed into Hedda's name, this no longer seems to be a dilemma. So the problem was just with "my name" being on as the owner? It's a fair question. I even have found some of my own PRIVATE pages that I have been denied access to. Does anyone care to explain this? Other Council members have been retired, but they weren't stripped of their privs or kicked out of the forums, but I was, for doing nothing wrong mind you. That's alright... I'm just supposed to shrug it off like it's not supposed to matter. Who the hell cares that I've been treated like I have been. But... I do have Hedda's addressing of the crew and how "he" instigated the crew to take over MY contest and ALL the other lovely things he said. I realise, kicking me out of the forums was necessary so I wouldn't see all that was said about me afterward. Hell, Hedda couldn't wait to steal my contest, the very one he reamed me out a new butt hole over. NOT THE CREW... Hedda did it all by himself! After I had just sent him $175.00 for Christmas, too! So I was "doubly" rewarded, and then triply! Should I start feeling lucky or something like this yet? Would anyone else? 

The only one that mentioned to me that she had been stalked in 'real life' of the crew is [Chimes]. I am NOT talking about stalking on here. I'm talking about being stalked all over the Internet, having your computer invaded, not only your privacy compromised, but everyone's that corresponds with you as well, having your online accounts messed with, being tracked everywhere you go, everything you do, every damn key stroke logged so it's fed to someone's else's computer, etc.. Since you now have the ability to read everyone's private messages on here, may I suggest you read this: [76831526@] and all those connected to it, particularly [76830795@] and also this one where Hedda threatens me as well: [76676213@]. The crew has been after me to put forth what I have and then when I finally began to start bringing it out, Hedda threatened me and told me that if I told my side of the story, then he would then permanently ban me, which means in layman's terms that he would then permanently defile "my" name, "my" art, etc. ALL across the Internet and not for breaking any rules or for doing anything wrong, but simply for what it boils down to, is "defending myself" and telling things from "my perspective", which now must be a valid reason to ban someone.. trying to get to the real truth is wrong? People here on Elftown don't have a clue as to what I've REALLY been subjected to. So this way it looks like it's all me. Then if I dare say anything, then I'm just being some drama queen. But if I tell my side to the story, I am threatened if I do!? So others can state their side, but I can't?

Hedda states, why don't I just ask him about things I didn't understand... So, I did and all he did was bloody circumvent with more insults. When I gave him the run-down on what had transpired in regards to the Kaspersky warning about the Trojan, did "he" apologise, and say that "he" was mistaken? Hell no! But... yet, he expected "me" to admit that I was, when I wasn't. It was Kaspersky that had made the error. But also, as soon as I became aware of this fact, I ALSO made damn sure that "I" didn't leave things as they were. I also then made sure that it was known that Kaspersky had made the error. Did Hedda thank me for this? Hell no! He was so damn quick to jump down my throat before "he" had all the facts, which meant that "he" was guilty of making "assumptions" of his own as well? But at least, I did everything in my power to set things right as was the right thing to do, but does he, did he? No, he does not and did not. HE KNOWS THE TRUTH! But yet he won't spill it, because he'd much rather see me fry than to stand up and do the right thing, because I think he's afraid what will happen if he does.

Then to have it very recently stated that he was telling another person what he was retrieving from invading my privacy and this person, in turn then condoned it, by listening and eating it up!? How sweet! Well, this person listening and lapping it all up, is about as bad as the one invading my privacy! 'Course, in so doing Hedda was sold up the river. Ze cat was let out of ze bag! "Meow!"

Has anyone stopped to think that different seeds are planted in different places for a reason? If I plant apple seeds, grape seeds, and tomato seeds and all in different places and then the apple seedlings pop up and the tomato vines begin to grow, but no grape vines sprout at all, well, I guess then I know what environments are the nurturing environments and which one wasn't, now don't I? This may sound horrible but to catch a rat, you have to first "bait" the traps and then "set" them and then watch and wait, and see which one is or ones are sprung. Since no one here that I'm aware of was willing to help me, I had no other recourse than to pursue this long, painful, and arduous task on my own. So this is what I did. One by one by one, I found out the hard way that they could not be trusted. Painful to think friends are your friends, only to find out they aren't, that they are just "phishing" for information while pretending to "be" your friend? You betcha'! But all the same, I HAD to know WHOM I could trust, and WHOM I could not. If I lost any in the process of my seeking the truth? Well, I guess, they weren't ever really my friends in the first place then, were they? I would never remain friends with anyone that would sell me up the river by the way.

It seems to be perfectly alright for others to talk badly about me, make fun of me, etc., but if I should say anything even remotely out of line, then I'm this awful bad person that no one should have anything to do with. I'm not saying that I haven't said some things that I shouldn't have, because I have and I very much regret, but so have several others, including one in particular who is always crying foul. She's forgotten about a statement she said back in 2007, which was BEFORE the shit hit the fan even. I only wish I had known about it in 2007: "I don't care how she is gotten rid of, just as long as she is. She is not taking my place! What does Hedda see in her anyway?"

So this is NOT alllll me as everyone is supposed to believe. I have never had any desire to take ANYONE'S place nor do I want or aspire to BE someone else. Never have either. Never will! But back in 2007 I was wanted out of here, gone? So there's been something festering around here even before I was ever even aware of or even suspicious of. 'Course 2007 was the year that my privacy invasion begun as well, but of course I didn't start putting two and two together until the beginning of 2008, which is when I addressed Hedda as I've previously stated. So four years of trying to convince Hedda to get rid of me? 2011 minus 4 = 2007. Simple math. ..And four years of hell.

But yet... this whole mess is ALL me, ALL "my" doing. Right.

2011-06-20 [SilverFire]: I'm sorry, I'm sort of skim-reading at the moment. I've had a long day already and that's a very long comment. :P

No, am not clear in my mind about precisely what badge I was giving you, what time it was, or even what day it was. It was years ago! Of course I don't remember it like it was yesterday, nor do I claim to. I forget more details each time. For instance, I had forgotten all about the leaves and the fact that some angled left and some right. Probably because the leaves didn't cause such a fuss. :P This I am more than prepared to admit. What I AM clear about in my mind is the memory of 'oh ferk, how do I make all this right in terms of decorations?' Even clearer was the memory of editing your badgeslot later to give you the veteran historian badge and going 'Oh! The little red heart was supposed to represent the VALENTINE THING! Opps, I mussed it up. Odd that she hasn't fixed it, but I guess maybe somehow she didn't notice it... I'll just go fix it now then, before she notices <_<' The very clearest part is how odd I found it that someone as diligent as yourself hadn't fixed it yet.

Clearly you did notice, and moved the first heart over to make it symmetrical again, and in deleting it I just double-whammied the fuck-up I'd made in the first place, by ruining your badge slot once again. Gooo Silvie!

"So why can't you consider that both Hans and I are speaking the truth about what we "witnessed""

I do. I don't actually doubt it. I just don't see how that proves beyond all reasonable doubt that it was Hedda who added the heart. :)

The Rumour thing: Mort mentioned on a wiki somewhere that you thought it was out of date, I don't always trust what he says, so I didn't know how much to trust that. That's all, nothing suspicious. :P

I've just offered to fix your badge slot. I'm sure I've seen Cali offer in the past before, So you know perfectly well that some of us are prepared to do that, and I'm rather frustrated because you saying it's out of date means that our record keeping has gone wrong somewhere. Please tell me what's wrong with it - for Elftown's Records' sake! Of course, not knowing what's wrong with it makes me worry that other peoples' badge slots are wrong too. >_<

"I was told that when people mod a contest, they NEED to put the ownership in their name "so they can edit the page" more easily."
That needs to be done if one of the mods doesn't have wiki-privs (and who has those privs changes pretty often, of course). They need to be able to password protect the page at the end, and they can only do that then if they're the owner. Past contests were placed in Hedda's name when Sunrose removed her ownership of them, because he's least likely to leave crew. :P Future contests pages were also placed in his name just for ease, to be redistributed to whoever the mod will be.

"Since you now have the ability to read everyone's private messages on here, may I suggest you read this:"
You may, but I won't. I don't care if you give me permission (I'm assuming that it's a message between you and someone, so that you do indeed have the right to give me permission to read it, as it were), that's not what that priv is for, and I refuse to use it as such. I hate having to use it at all, so I certainly won't use it any more than I absolutely have to.

Which reminds me, speaking of forums... Why were all of my postings deleted in the what, Assembly forum?

I have absolutely no knowledge of this. The crew don't really use that forum any more. I just checked Crew-Assembly and found 1 post from you, and I'm sure you made more than that. :/ Odd indeed.

I even have found some of my own PRIVATE pages that I have been denied access to.

No idea about this, and I can't even attempt to find out what the problem was without more info. :/ Could it possibly be that you protected them to a forum you think got removed from? That's the only other time I've seen someone unable to access their own page. If you let me know what the pages are I can check if that's the problem, and de-forumise them if it is.

Other Council members have been retired, but they weren't stripped of their privs or kicked out of the forums,
Actually, most of them have now, because I'm an evil fascist like that. >=3

"including one in particular who is always crying foul." I have no idea who you're talking about, or what, actually, so with all due respect I'm going to stop reading at this point because there's no way I can possibly make an informed comment on the matter. :)

2011-06-20 [SilverFire]: Oh! Re assembly forum: You're posts aren't all gone! :3 I just decided to investigate a little more, and found them all still there. They just don't show up in the search function :/ (which isn't a great search function, and I frequently have trouble with it not showing posts that I KNOW are there).

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Oh my mistake. Wrong forum. It was the Crew-Assembly forum that "according to Hedda" I was supposedly "left" in:


...But I guessed he lied about this too! What else is new!? Just as you can also see, that he also lied about Elf12 AS WELL! It does seem that he does a whole lot of fibbing, now doesn't he?

On to the issues about changing ownership thingy...
The Valentine's Competition, 2011:

I think this combo of screengrabs says it all, don't you?


I put the Valentine Photography Competition together, but yet I was "removed" as the owner. Charybdis put the art and poetry parts together, but "she" was NOT removed as the owner.

As for what you just said that the mods had to put the pages in their names so they could password protect or whatever? Well, I guess these screen grabs disprove what you just said then, don't they?

"including one in particular who is always crying foul." I have no idea who you're talking about, or what, actually, so with all due respect I'm going to stop reading at this point because there's no way I can possibly make an informed comment on the matter. :)"

I understand totally what you are saying and actually I respect what you just said, but if "I" state the person's name, then once again, I will be accused of talking badly of her.

So.... what are your thoughts about "this" particular page and all that goes with it, SilverFire? It's as plain as day that its contents and what goes with it points to ONE person AND ONE person only. But... "he" knows nothing about this? Oooops! Is Hedda telling yet another fiberoo? For shame! ;P

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: I thought you *were* in the Crew-Assembly forum for a while after that, I thought I remembered seeing you on the member list. I saw at one point that you weren't in there any more, but I assumed you'd left yourself. If you didn't, do you not have a message about who kicked you out, and when?

Well, not entirely. With future contests we sometimes get there and discover that the mods have wiki-privs, so it's fine. I changed the page-owners in advance because, to be frank, I presumed you had claimed a load of official pages to be antagonistic: you weren't crew then, this wasn't your job. I assumed you wanted to kick up a fuss when the time came to open the contest and we discovered we needed to change some of them then. But then, I was operating under the notion that you were the same person who once took a page I owned and made yourself the owner, and made a wiki about me slating me as someone trampling all over the will of ET's users: in short, as someone very antagonistic. So I stand by what I did there, because to me, that was 'damage control'. I acknowledge that I may have completely misunderstood your intentions, but I don't think my assumptions were entirely without provocation. <_< Now, whilst I can still find you antagonistic at times, (no offence :p) I don't operate under the assumption that that's your aim. Since then we've also written strict guidelines about things like that, so that stuff like that doesn't happen again - to you, or me, or anyone else.

Don't ignore the badge-y stuff! :) Let me know what you think is wrong so it can be fixed. :3

I actually don't fully understand the argument on the page, yet (I know nothing of AOL and remember very little of dial-up). I'll read it again tomorrow, when I'm less tired. (But I'm tempted to be mean and refuse to comment until you tell me what's wrong with your badge slot >=3)

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: One more thing... the pages don't need to be password protected when they are set at "editable by the Crew-Assembly forum" which they were done this way in the past. So why all of a sudden does a page need password protection instead? Just being set at editable by a particular forum, which crew all belong to, cancels the need to password protect. It worked out this way just fine when I was editing pages that didn't belong to me as long as I belonged to the forum that was selected to be "editable by".

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: I will plan to look and see. Hedda kicked me out of forums, but to be quite honest? This whole damn thing hurt me so much, I wouldn't open them and I left them sitting there... still. I'm so tired of being slapped in the face! So damned tired!

"I presumed you had claimed a load of official pages to be antagonistic, and wanted to kick up a fuss when the time came to open the contest and we discovered we needed to change some of them then."

You see? This is how this automatic assumption is so damn wrong! I had the pages that I made already done up in my word pad. I wasn't just going to waste the time I had spent, so I put the info on their rightful pages. It's just the same thing with the Dreamers' Contest. It was assumed that I would have just gone against everything I have done for and to promote this site. I wouldn't have cared if the crew had wanted to run that contest either, but when I found out that I was removed as the owner like I had never done a thing with it, when it was ALL MY WORK, I was bloody pissed and I had every right to be. Dammit! That contest was deliberately STOLEN from ME! Then to get told by another crew member that I "didn't build that contest", well, that just had me fuming. Hedda filleted me ROYALLY about MY contest, but then behind MY back when I could not defend what was rightfully mine, he instigated the taking it over. If a regular member had done what was done to me, well, I think we both know what would have happened to them.

May I refresh your memory then? It was you that knew that I was making up the polls for an ECM session, but even though you knew this, you went right ahead and made an art one up anyway, then pretended you didn't know. So if I was defending my work, why wouldn't it seem like I would? But because I was upset that you went right on ahead and made a poll you knew I was already doing, this makes "me" antagonistic?

I will let you know about my badge slot, when I get to it. I hate the damn thing to be honest. 

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Here's an interesting page, but it is password protected: Addressing_The_Crew.

Actually, I have noticed how certain "topics" on pages that I am working on, but NOT keywording, are popping up strangely coincidental-like and several times. I'll have to ask Mort for the link.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: If the page isn't already linked to a crew forum then only the owner can do that unless you have wiki-privs. I tend to use 'password protect' rather confusingly to just mean 'protect', but the principle is the same - you still need wiki privs to protect in any way a page you don't own. 

You see? This is how this automatic assumption is so damn wrong!
Yes, I did acknowledge that, but also pointed out I had reasons for believing as I did. :)

I believe what the other crew member was trying to point out when they said you "didn't build it" was that a lot of contest-building is very simple, because so much of it is templated. Which *is* true.

"but even though you knew this, you went right ahead and made an art one up anyway, then pretended you didn't know."
I consider this incredibly ironic, since you're prescribing to me exactly the antagonistic motives I prescribed to you. So this is where I say 'This is how this automatic assumption is so damn wrong!' right? :P I thought you were busy. I was trying to be helpful. I would also like to point out that this is proof that you're not the only one who was ever accused of treading on people's toes when they were just trying to help. ;)

I read a bit of the wiki, but with all due respect, I stopped after the old Sunrose thing. She explained multiple times now, I think, that she ended her relation with you after finding out you were saying stuff to other people about her. The fact that you're prepared to ignore this, and attribute her actions to some random event in your day is what makes us doubt many of your other "coincidences". ^^; Because this one WAS a coincidence. :) I could make tonnes of coincidences like that - almost daily: X comes online just as I'm doing y, z goes offline just as I'm doing w. For three days in a row, G and H signed in simultaneously on my msn, T's phone only ever starts playing up at the times where I most need to contact them (but then, y'know, I did accidentally stick it through the washing machine, so... <_<). The fact that you ignore other people's explanation for such things also, in my eyes, can make your account of things seem a lot less reasonable: you've ascribed certain motivations to people (just as you did to me, and I did to you, in being antagonistic) but you're not prepared to change those ascribed motivations even when the people involved try and explain. :( I don't understand why the assumed motivations you've ascribed people are more reliable than their accounts of what they did. It just makes it look like you don't want to believe any of us about our own actions, which in turn, can make attempting to discuss it seem useless. ._.

Actually, I have noticed how certain "topics" on pages that I am working on, but NOT keywording, are popping up strangely coincidental-like and several times. I'll have to ask Mort for the link?

I also have no idea what that is about, and I don't really care for half-explained things like that. Say it clearly, or not at all, damnnit! :P

But that does remind me that you said you were having trouble with being able to access some of your wikis, and my offer to help with that still stands. :)

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: When I set up official pages, I set them at "editable by Crew-Assembly" or "Crew". For poll pages especially, that both needed to be able to access, the setting was for Crew-Assembly. ..And there wasn't any problem then that I remember of anyone in the crew having with editing pages.

Well, just because something doesn't appear to you as something does to me, doesn't make my perception not reasonable nor does it make yours necessarily erroneous either. But two people can have two different perceptions AND both can have valid reasons for these perceptions. But continually pointing out to me how wrong I am, while no one else is, makes me look like the moron and others aren't. Differing opinions and perceptions do not make all those that oppose morons and all those in favour as the smart people or the right people.

I do find it hard to believe that someone as observant as yourself, but yet you didn't "see" a comment by myself saying that I was creating the polls "just above" your own? It's somehow just a little bit hard to swallow. Come on! You didn't repeatedly antagonise me to keep arguing with you on the ECM Conference page, now did you? How about the time you kept deleting "my" comments repeatedly on a page? Do you remember this? My daughter certainly does. How about when you were "editing one of MY graphics' pages"?

So, if this is going to be all about every thing I bring up, you continually pointing out that "I" was wrong every damn time, while every one else has a viable excuse? Well, then we might as well call it quits here and now, because I am willing to see where "I" have made some mistakes, but so have you, and so have other people, including Sunrose, but she, especially, always seems to come out smelling like a rose... no pun intended. I am sorry how things went sour, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be made out here to look like yet, again, like a schmuck, while everyone else appears as though they made 'no' mistakes. It ain't happening.

I'm just a little tired of everything I say that it was just some "convenient coincidence" and so it gets shrugged off and I'm made to look like the idiot. Well, I'm not an idiot. When someone ends a relationship WITHIN MINUTES, not hours or days, but MINUTES after I was given a compliment, it's just a little too hard to swallow also, that it was just some 'freaking coincidence'. ..And especially when I was given a compliment in regards to something that that person had told the person giving me the compliment "to shove it up his ass". ..And especially when she tried to convince me to not try to please him, to not agree with him, and to walk away from the project. So yeah, that "coincidence" excuse? It is a little much to just willingly accept.

Well, I have noticed that it seemed a bit peculiar how I would be writing about something, and then there, the same topic or idea was being talked about somewhere. Without going back through all I've been doing and then locating each and every comment or whatever that just seemed to come up, I did generalise it. Oh my, what? I didn't screen grab everything? I must be slipping!

But forget it. Once again I can also see certain topics are responded to while others are not as well. Just as before, selective replies to only those where I can be made out to look like I'm the unreasonable idiot. Forget it, because I can see this heading in the same ol' direction, with the same ol' pattern, as it has in the past. The crew people (a general term here, because there are several crew people I liked and do like that did not give me any grief) are perfect people whom never make ANY errors, and anyone else that says anything about some of the stuff they've done, well, these individuals are all schmucks, because the crew sticks together and up for one another (again GENERAL term here, not specifically targeting) even when it is known that one has done something they should not have done. Doctors all stick together; lawyers all sleep together; and the Elftown Crew do as well. Any glimmer of hope I had about working things out are once again, all shot to hell. ..And Hedda just sits back and gets away with everything and so does Sunrose and so does everyone else that has been a part of this witch-hunt at my expense. So fuck it! There are other ways to handle my issues that won't include me bowing down to another or others whom seem to think they are above me and/or every other regular member here. I will bow down before NO human being nor will I grovel or repeatedly make concessions or apologies, while others don't have to do any of this at all, when they have certainly made mistakes as well. Oh, so don't bother blaming me in the future if anything transpires because I refused to grovel.

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: I just want to add and reiterate that when I use the word "Crew" I use it loosely, because people like Nioniel, Akane, Paz, Ramirez, and some others are sincere people, good people, and I do not include these in the word "Crew" even though they are or were, because they've done nothing that I know of to present themselves like they are better than every one else. I just want to be sure that people know not all crew "fit the general consensus".

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: You didn't repeatedly antagonise me to keep arguing with you on the ECM Conference page, now did you?
No, and that's just silly. :P I argued with you because I disagreed with you. I have absolutely no interest in argument for the sake of it. I guess the fact that you kept responding was just you trying to antagonise me, right? X)

How about the time you kept deleting "my" comments repeatedly on a page? Do you remember this?
Yeah, I do. I thought that was again because YOU were trying to antagonise me! X) We'd just had an entire discussion where we'd agreed to only respond to questions on the pages we were modding, and there you were, flagrantly ignoring that. Do you expect ME to believe that YOU forgot that? ;)

I do find it hard to believe that someone as observant as yourself, but yet you didn't "see" a comment by myself saying that I was creating the polls "just above" your own?
As flattering as that is, I have no idea why you would think I'm particularly observant. :P I'm often not, and my memory for most things isn't great either. You made a comment saying you were doing them, but then nothing happened. I assumed you were inundated with work (because I knew how much you were doing). I tried to help. I have accepted that you weren't trying to be antagonistic, even though I felt you were. Is it that hard for you to accept the same of me? :)

So, if this is going to be all about every thing I bring up, you continually pointing out that "I" was wrong every damn time, while every one else has a viable excuse?
Well, I'm going to point out the things I think you're wrong about, 'cause that's what happens in a discussion. But I think anyone reading this discussion can clearly see that I'm not telling you you're wrong about absolutely everything. ;)

because I am willing to see where "I" have made some mistakes, but so have you.
And I'm also willing to acknowledge those mistakes. As can be seen frequently in my previous comments. :P C'mon, give me *some* credit, please (no pun intended). :P

I'm going to be made out here to look like yet, again, like a schmuck,
I'm not trying to make you out to be a schmuck, and I'm sorry if that's the impression you've got.
So yeah, that "coincidence" excuse? It is a little much to just willingly accept.
See, to me, that "excuse" seems perfectly plausible. But then, I'm an Ockham's razor kinda' girl. And I've seen too many people fall out over things they thought MUST have been done purposely which turned out in the end to actually just be coincidences.

Well, I have noticed that it seemed a bit peculiar how I would be writing about something, and then there, the same topic or idea was being talked about somewhere. Without going back through all I've been doing and then locating each and every comment or whatever that just seemed to come up, I did generalise it. On my, what? I didn't screen grab everything? I must be slipping!

I still have absolutely no idea what this part is about. <_<;

But forget it. Once again I can also see certain topics are responded to while others are not as well.
You're doing exactly the same. :P But these comments are so long it's difficult to respond to everything. I'm trying to pick out the parts I feel I can shed light on, explain, or do something about. If I can't contribute usefully, I'm leaving it be. If there are certain things you feel I'm deliberately ignoring and WOULD like me to address, then feel free to mention those specifically. The things I would specifically like to see addressed are the issue of your badge slot and the wikis you can't access. :)

Forget it, because I can see this heading in the same ol' direction, with the same ol' pattern, as it has in the past.
I'm happy to drop this, but I would like it to be noted that I did indeed make an effort to discuss this with you. :)

The crew people (a general term here, because there are several crew people I liked and do like that did not give me any grief) are perfect people whom never make ANY errors, and anyone else that says anything about some of the stuff they've done, well, these individuals are all schmucks, because the crew sticks together and up for one another (again GENERAL term here, not specifically targeting) even when it is known that one has done something they should not have done.
I don't feel this is true. But I guess I'm just saying that because you're dissing the crew, and therefore it's my job to make you out to be a schmuck, right? :P When people say we ALWAYS stick up for each other, and just diss anyone who criticises us, it suddenly means that we can't ever defend ourselves, because we're *obviously* just doing it because, y'know - that's what we do. Defend each other no matter how wrong someone was. >_< Several of the crew can tell you how many times I've told them off for something they've done, for how they've addressed someone, and for similar such things. Sometimes even in public. :o So we definitely don't always defend each other, no matter what. 

There are other ways to handle my issues that won't include me bowing down to another or others whom seem to think they are above me and/or every other regular member here.

I don't think any of us want you (or anyone else) bowing down to us, and I don't think any of us think we're better than everyone else, either. :)

Oh, so don't bother blaming me in the future if anything transpires because I refused to gravel.

I try not to play blame games. :3

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: No! That is NOT true. I told you that we should just agree to disagree and leave it at that, But it was YOU that kept saying things like, oh I was ignoring you, I was being childish, because I would not continue to argue with you.

Right, so I was disallowed to even say anything to anyone on the page? Oh please!

Again, please. You'll never admit that you have tried several times to bug me. So skip it!

Well, when there are way too many "seemingly" coincidences, at what point do these "seemingly" coincidences become no longer coincidences?

There was more than one poll I was putting together and there was a lot of information that had to be gathered and reviewed as well, and you know this. Did you ever once to "ask me" if things were going along okay? No, you just assumed that it wasn't getting done. Even so, if you thought they weren't, wouldn't this preempt you to perhaps then read "over" the comments to see if YOU may have missed something? No! 'Course not!

Well, forget it. It's not important.

No you aren't telling me I'm wrong with everything, but with most everything that YOU are choosing to take any further.

I did point out that NOT the whole crew fit the description, didn't I?

It's pointless.

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Say whatever.. but I'm done!

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: I'm happy to admit what I did. I'm happy to apologise for it. What I will never do - just like yourself - is admit to things I did not do. I will not apologise for things I did not do. I already accepted and apologised for bugging/being rude to you on your community wiki, so saying I'll never admit it just isn't true - I did! :). But I didn't TRY to bug you about ECM stuff. I tried to discuss stuff with you. I tried to reach a resolution (even if you sometimes just wanted to drop it). In the end, I quit the ECM because I felt that no matter what I tried to do, I was doing more harm than good - you and I simply couldn't get along: we disagreed too strongly, about too much. If I was just trying to antagonise you, why would I have done that? :)

Right, so I was disallowed to even say anything to anyone on the page? Oh please!
I never said that. But you were answering questions directed towards the mod, which was the exact thing we'd just discussed and agreed not to do.

Well, when there are way too many "seemingly" coincidences, at what point do these "seemingly" coincidences become no longer coincidences?
There's probably not a definite point. :P But one must always accept that even if most of the coincidences turn out NOT to be coincidences, some of them probably ARE. :)

There was more than one poll I was putting together and there was a lot of information that had to be gathered and reviewed as well, and you know this. Did you ever once to "ask me" if things were going along okay? No, you just assumed that it wasn't getting done. Even so, if you thought they weren't, wouldn't this preempt you to perhaps then read "over" the comments to see if YOU may have missed something? No! 'Course not!
No, it wouldn't prompt me to read over the comments. X_x I just... didn't think like that. Sorry. :( I thought 'Oh, she said she was going to do this, but she hasn't... she must be busy doing other stuff. I'll be helpful and do this one small task for her." I don't understand why you seem determined to think the worst of me about this. :( But all I can do is apologise and hope that eventually you'll believe me.

No you aren't telling me I'm wrong with everything, but with most everything that YOU are choosing to take any further.

And you're telling ME I'm wrong about it too! X) This is hardly one-sided. :P And it would be a pretty weird discussion if we just agreed with each other on everything. :PI would also like to point out that I tried to explain why I was choosing to comment on certain things and not others, and that you were more than welcome to point me in the direction of other things you thought I should answer. :)

I did point out that NOT the whole crew fit the description, didn't I?
yes, you absolutely did. But I would like to think that now it doesn't describe anyone in the crew. :)

It's pointless.
I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm sorry that you seem to be frustrated with this conversation right now (and I'm sorry if that assumption is wrong, too :P). I'm honestly just trying to be helpful. ._.;

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Alright so I'm acting a bit oversensitive again. I'm quite guilty of this, I do admit this and I have.

I was replying to my friend on that wiki, Grandamelf.

I see the whole project has been placed in hold. That's sad.

Actually, this whole site has become rather sad. It is no longer much fun as it used to be; no longer bustling as it used to be; it is just nothing of what it used to be.

Instead of pointing out that I'm so ridiculous with my conclusions, perhaps, you could try to at least understand that I have some valid reasons for feeling the way I do?

I really would like to be friends with you. There's a lot about you that I find admirable, believe it or not, but it's just so damn hard to ever get to the point of just being able to say this, because there seems to be all this other stuff in the darn way. I donated in your name because I thought then that you deserved to have some recognition for all your efforts. I think that everyone deserves recognition for their efforts. I didn't regret it then and I still don't. In fact, I don't regret donating for anyone that I have nor do I regret doing whatever I could for this site period. I have so believed in Elftown and I still do, but with all the hurt I've had to endure here, it just keeps getting more difficult to feel it anymore.

..And there's this issue with Hedda and all the hurt he has flung at me deliberately. Perhaps, I was more right than I even realised when I emailed him because I had simply had enough. Being accused of conspiracy with another Elftown member; being told that my Eyecatching Artworks was just a ploy to take away from Featured Art; being accused of playing games when all I was doing was placing the title at the top of the pages as Hedda had asked several times to be done (which he even then went and stated that the titles were to be on the tops of the pages on MC, BUT did he say I was only doing as he wanted? No, of course not! I was banned for doing wrong! NOTHING!); when I was just trying to do things so they were getting done, so no one would get faulted for them not being done.. trying to make sure all the bases were covered, I was told that I was interfering; when Hedda had agreed about featuring the Elf in the next session, but then went and made a public statement that "I" was mistaken; ...I could go on and on. But it's useless, because you and others think that I shouldn't feel hurt or singled out in any way, but I should just get over all of it like it's nothing. Well, it's not just nothing, but because I am the one that was hurt so much in all of this, it's easy for others to think I should just get over this. But if they were I that were in my shoes, I'm sure they would be a whole lot more understanding.

Then the fact that he humiliated me on Elf12 the way he did as well, but I don't see anyone seeing anything wrong in what he has done to me either. He has threatened me several times. ..And I know he put that heart in my slot! He KNOWS this, but he doesn't have the guts to say so. Sorry! But he certainly has the balls to chew me out and be nasty with me every damn opportunity he can.

By the way, he banned me on someone's birthday? Is this just a coincidence too? Just asking because I don't want to make the wrong assumption or anything.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: It is no longer much fun as it used to be; no longer bustling as it used to be; it is just nothing of what it used to be.
I agree. We're trying to fix that (albeit too slowly for my taste <_<) but suggestions are always welcome. ._.;;

Instead of pointing out that I'm so ridiculous with my conclusions, perhaps, you could try to at least understand that I have some valid reasons for feeling the way I do?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem to be saying your conclusions were ridiculous. I did acknowledge with some things that though I disagree with you, I can perfectly understand WHY you reached the conclusions that you did. 

I shouldn't feel hurt or singled out in any way, but I should just get over all of it like it's nothing
I don't think I ever said you had no right to feel hurt. I do think "getting over it" is important, but I understand that that's not something people can just snap their fingers and do, especially when they feel they've been wronged and received no apology. This is one of the reasons I've tried to apologise for the things I have done that might have upset you, hurt you, or made you feel singled out.

Then the fact that he humiliated me on Elf12 the way he did as well...
I don't know anything about Elf12 or what goes/went on there, so I can't comment on this bit.

By the way, he banned me on someone's birthday? Is this just a coincidence too? Just asking because I don't want to make the wrong assumption or anything. 
Eeeerk. This is one of those cases of me not being that observant. o.< I have no idea when anyone's birthday is, and dates just don't stick in my head. But I think when he banned you (and of course, I can't actually speak for Hedda, so this is just my perspective) was to do with the fact that he felt you were going to destroy a lot of your work on ET, based on something you'd said. Was it a coincidence that you made that comment on/just before someone's birthday? X_x

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Here's just one example of what I have had to endure:

"Enjoy what's left of your miserable existence you lonely, overbearing, self serving, self centered woman. Your mother would weep to see what you have become."

I lost my Mom in January of 2007, whom I adored to no end! She was such a source of strength, courage, and so much more to me. She believed in me like no one else. But this person knew how difficult the loss was for me, but yet, this is is just one of the low blows I've had to swallow when she was clearly in the wrong and she knew it, but just another one that thinks it is all I and not them. She couldn't understand why I wasn't simply all over losing my mother in just a couple months or so and even told me that I needed to seek help because I wasn't. She also condemned me for having principles, because I said that once I have given my word that what is discussed between another and myself, it then goes no further. Which means... it GOES NO further, not to my sister, my daughter, Hans, or anyone else. It is my word that I have given. She then told me that I should place what the Council wanted of me "above" my word. I do not nor will I ever agree with this. When a person trusts me to keep something between just them and I, it is then 'my' responsibility to uphold what I agreed to. Besides, I never thought that my first priority here was 'to' the Council. My first priority here was to this "community". The Council is made up of a few select individuals all selected by a select few, none of which are chosen by the community to represent the community.

What she said here couldn't be farther from the truth. I am not self-centered nor self serving, and people that know me know this to be true. I give of myself even when I don't know if I have any more to give. I have spent most of my life doing FOR others: animals, people in general, homeless, children... schools, rescue groups, youth groups, art guilds, volunteered in many ways, my time, my music playing, my art, my money. I have taken in to my home over 500 animals, vetted them, fed them, nursed them back to health, saved their lives from abuse, neglect, deplorable conditions, etc.. So she knew NOT what she spoke of, but yet this wasn't supposed to hurt?

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: I'm... not sure what I can say now. ._.;; Yeah, that seems like a nasty thing to say, and a low-blow.

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: By the way and just for the record... My mother is proud of who I am and whom I have become. No, I'm not perfect, faaaar from it, but my heart is waaaaaaay bigger than I am, but then... hmmm... I'm not a very big person.. maybe 110 pounds soaking wet. lol

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Okay, I'm going to catch up now... ;)

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: I would love to give things one hell of a try to get some life back into this site for sure! This site really needs some serious promoting to bring in more people and then get them interested enough to stay and so many others that have given up on Elftown and left to be brought back. Kinda' like welcome the new, embrace the old?

I have many ideas going on and in the works that I would love, yes LOVE to share with you and others and get some added input and ideas and help with, but I'm afraid to bring them out in the open. ;_;

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to seem to be saying your conclusions were ridiculous. I did acknowledge with some things that though I disagree with you, I can perfectly understand WHY you reached the conclusions that you did. "


2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Thank you for that...

I didn't realise that it was someone's birthday either until well after the fact, but seeings that the person has been after him to get rid of me for 3-4 years now (said so by the person), it just seemed like it 'could' have played some sort of role.

But... I "can't" remove ANYTHING from Hedda's server. Nor could I delete any wiki-page. I did not have the priv of 13 or lower to be able to do so. So, this blows his theory right out of the water.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: I have many ideas going on and in the works that I would love, yes LOVE to share with you and others and get some added input and ideas and help with, but I'm afraid to bring them out in the open. ;_;

Sharing ideas can be very scary. :P And of course I can't promise anyone that all – or even any – of their ideas would get used. But I still think it's incredibly important to hear them. Even ideas which aren't used help shape and form the final product - in some cases just as much as the ideas that *are* used. :3 I'd like to think that if we could get the site re-designed (both graphically, and structurally) we could then send out an email to every account that has a valid email address attached inviting them back to have a look at the new ET. *dreams*

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: But... I "can't" remove ANYTHING from Hedda's server. Nor could I delete any wiki-page. I did not have the priv of 13 or lower to be able to do so. So, this blows his theory right out of the water.

No, I know that. I don't think he meant 'delete' in that sense, but that you can 'delete' your stuff in the same way a normal user can - wiping the wiki and submitting a blank version, and of course the old stuff is still there, but... the wiki is still gone/no longer functional.

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Well, now I don't see this as valid, because if I make MY stuff, MY wiki-pages (personal ones, not ones for the community), blanked last versions, there is no problem for me to go to the previous version and bring it up and submit it. Besides, if it is MY stuff, then it is MY stuff. Not Hedda's nor anyone else's. If "I" choose to make MY stuff no longer functional, well then, don't I have this right to do so AND it's not like I could make ANYTHING he was 'assuming' I was going to do permanent, now could I?

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: ..And it still stands at just because "he assumed" what "he" thought I was "going" to do, I deserved to be banned like I was some rule breaking idiot? He himself stated that I had done "nothing" wrong, but yet, I was banned for doing "nothing wrong". When it defiled my name all over the Internet, did Hedda even lift a finger to do anything about what he had done to me "for doing nothing wrong"? No and I didn't know what to do about fixing it either, so apparently also then made it an even bigger mess, or this is what I was told that "I" had done. Hedda did the damage. Hedda should have fixed it. But he doesn't. He expects others to clean up his messes for him. When the fire gets too hot in the ol' kitchen, he skedaddles.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: If "I" choose to make MY stuff no longer functional, well then, don't I have this right to do so AND it's not like I could make ANYTHING he was 'assuming' I was going to do permanent, now could I?
Sure you do, but if someone I knew tried to get rid of a load of stuff that I knew they'd worked really hard on, or said they were giving up on something they'd worked really hard on, I'd still try and stop them (my mom does this all the time to me, when I try and throw stuff away <_< I later find out that she took it back out of the bin and hid it somewhere).

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Well, then if this was "his" eh-um "concern" about MY stuff, why didn't he then email me back or message me on Elftown and say something like: "I know you are upset and that maybe you aren't thinking too clearly at the moment. Perhaps, you would consider just giving things 24 hours or so to think about things before you do anything out of haste?"

Hedda KNOWS that I will do just about anything for him if I know it is what he wants or wanted.

People that do nothing wrong are not supposed to be punished. In lieu that I have done so much for "his" sites (plural), including a considerable amount of money donated as well, I do believe that I deserved much better than what I was handed. Then when he tacked on to one of his emails that I was "flip-flop" with caring about Elftown, he knew he was just driving that ol' dagger in just a wee bit deeper.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: 'Cause that's just not Hedda's style? <_<

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Well, then perhaps, "he" needs the upgrade? LOLOL

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Umm.. is it possible to allow PNGs along with GIFs on Elftown Graphics? Otherwise, my graphics' pages will have to be pulled. Most all of my graphics are PNGs and I'm not willing to compromise my art into GIFs. I know it's been brought up before. I was one that did bring it up. If I should bring this up somewhere else, well, I'm just not ready to do this yet, like in a forum.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: His communication skills do, yeah. :P

Yeah. We updated the rules a few days ago to show that. :3 It's been bought up loads of times by loads of people, but we figured that the amount of people stuck using browsers that can't handle transparent PNGs is now small enough to allow it (that, and google etc. are all pulling support for those older browsers, too, so it's sort of "officially" okay to not have to support them now :P).

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: This is great! :) Thanks!

People's computers will be much more secure if they keep their browsers up to date. Outdated browsers are just one of the tools hackers can make use of to gain access to a computer. It's probably safe to assume that many people do know this, but by the same token, also that many don't as well.

2011-06-21 [SilverFire]: Usually the people stuck on older browsers are people who have to access the interweb from public libraries, universities, college, etc. X_x Places like that are really bad at updating their software.

2011-06-21 [Artsieladie]: Yeah, I hear ya, and so I've been told. My new computer came with Internet Explorer 9 installed on it, so even the 6 version is really old now, the version 7 is the one that started to recognise PNGs I think. It took IE awhile to catch up with the real web world, which doesn't say a whole lot for Microsoft.

2011-06-22 [Artsieladie]: In response to earlier statements:

'Other Council members have been retired, but they weren't stripped of their privs or kicked out of the forums,.."

"Actually, most of them have now, because I'm an evil fascist like that. >=3"

Then this must be the run down on the standings of whom has what:

[Hedda] - 1 (can: read PMs, delete wiki pages, restore comments, etc)
[SilverFire] - 4 ->2 ->1 (can: change own priv to 1, read PMs, delete wiki pages, restore comments, etc)

[Nehirwen] - Guard Captain - 13 (can delete wiki pages)

[All_Most PUNK] - Guard - 14
[Yuriona] - Guard - 14
[iippo] - Guard - 14
[Chimes] - Guard - 14
[Kaimee] - Guard - 14
[Malnu] - Guard 14

[Veltzeh] - Wiki Boss - 49

[Kyrinn] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Linderel] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Lothuriel] - 89 (possibly 79)
[hanhepi] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Alexi Ice] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Nioniel] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Flisky] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Thunder Cid] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Chel!] - 89 (possibly 79)
[Akayume] - 89 (possibly 79)

[wicked fae mage] - 89
[Rice] - 89

Therefore, "everyone" else on this site has a priv of 90 or higher, including people like: Sunrose, Calico Tiger, Lerune, Nita, to name a few, which naturally would also mean that they are also denied access to their own badge slot as well? Also, then, the only person on this site that can delete wiki-pages besides you and Hedda, is Nehirwen, AND the only two on this entire site that can read private messages are Hedda and yourself.

Oh, and so 'all' those that are now retired from Guards and Council have also been kicked out of the Crew and Guard forums as well?

2011-06-22 [SilverFire]: Nehi can read messages too (and that's mentioned on the Guards wiki). I disliked having to deal with all the message harassment reports by myself. o.< Cali certainly does have 90, since I had a conversation with her about it and she removed herself from the forums, (as did Sunrose). Without checking, I know that Sunrose has a far higher priv level than she did – changed by herself – but I don't know about Lerune or Nita.

All full council have at least 79 so that they can badge, some have 49 due to jobs that required them to edit lots of wikis which people kept protecting. Trainees indeed only have 89. 

There are about three 'veterans' left in the crew forum, which I left because I knew they were prone to chipping in occasionally with useful advice. Everyone else is indeed gone.

2011-06-22 [Artsieladie]: Actually, I agree with you totally on this one. I think lower privs should be applied wisely and only if they are needed. An active Council member makes use of the privs, as does say, an active Guard, but once they are retired, then they no longer need them, because they no longer will likely 'use' them either.

I did the same on Elf12 and then I recorded who had what privs, so it was readily available to know whom had what. But apparently, one of those that I then applied this theory with after many discussions in the forum about "cleaning house", didn't like that I did and took it personally and then saw me as probably a "fascist" <-- O_O hehe... too, and as a result, I ended up being considered such a villain and then it was said that I couldn't be worked with, etc., until eventually this person with help from her good friend, I think I can be pretty sure, decided to go whatever lengths it would take to get me removed. ..And eventually they got their way. Once I was removed everything related to me/with me was destroyed and deleted and then once they accomplished this, they have not returned since.

I didn't make an exception for this person when I "cleaned house", because this person was not doing their assigned jobs just as the rest weren't and as I said, it had been discussed several times, that those that weren't around any longer and/or weren't doing their jobs, then they needed to be retired and when retired, one no longer is in need of the privs that have been given to them when they were doing their job(s). I do not believe in: "all those that aren't doing their jobs are to be retired except so and so, because so and so is somebody in a high position's friend". I believe in "whomever is not doing their job(s) should be retired, period", straight across the board with NO favouritism whatsoever. 

2011-06-22 [SilverFire]: I don't understand why people would want to keep the lower privs anyway. <_< I hate all the extra buttons they add all over the place. The first thing I'll do when I retire from stuff is get rid of the privs. X)

2011-06-22 [Artsieladie]: Yeah! This reminds me.. I remember when I first was given Guard privs on Elf12. OMG there were pink boxes and little boxes by everything it seemed! I was like: "Are things supposed to look like this?" But you do adjust and quite quickly. It just catches you a little by surprise at first.

2011-06-22 [SilverFire]: And the little check boxes by every single image in a presentation can muck up even the pretties profile. -_- [Pnelma Tirian] has a really cool profile, but the little check boxes pull it all apart. :(

2011-06-22 [Artsieladie]: Yes, they do. Trying to make your own house "work nicely" 'with' those little boxes and 'without' them, also, so when you view your own house, 'you' can live with how it looks, but you also want it so when others view it, it will look good for them as well.. it can be a bit tricky. :P

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: There's a question that has been bugging me for awhile.

If I create a wiki-page and on that wiki-page I place on it an image with a member's name as a working link immediately following it in parenthesis, a thumbnailed version of that image along with the link of the wiki-page under it, then appears in that member's house at the bottom under "Latest appearances in photo albums" AND also, that member is then automagically watching that wiki-page.

If however, I decide that I want the wiki-page deleted (which means ALL of its contents are removed from the wiki-page) and I ask for such and then the wiki-page is then deleted, the thumbnailed image along with the link to the wiki-page also then should disappear from the bottom of that member's house as well, correct?

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: In lieu as to what I was recently told, I think there is a need here for a definitive explanation of the rights both the regular members have and those that the crew has. People need to be informed just when they are relinquishing their rights to their works and handing over the power to a select few to be able to destroy whatever these select few so decide to destroy.

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: If a member creates a wiki-page, there should be something in place, where the page creator gets to decide whether it is to be a personal page or a community page. If the creator chooses "personal", then that creator should have the right to do with that page as they want, including having the ability to delete that page themselves should they so choose. It may have personal information on it that that member does not want another person to see, which would also include any person of position here with the privs of 49 or lower. If a member has a personal, private wiki-page, then NO ONE should be allowed to review it and/or decide what is done with it, other than the creator.

If a page creator chooses the page to be a "community" page, then they rescind the rights that they would have, if it were a personal page. Both sides of the coin would need to be made clear, clarified in the rights of members as aforementioned.

Members need to know here that even their password protected wiki-pages can be accessed and read by all those here with privs of 49 and lower. Therefore, members should have the right to know whom on this site has the ability to do what. This information could be added to the Privs' page.

2011-06-30 [SilverFire]: "the thumbnailed image along with the link to the wiki-page also then should disappear from the bottom of that member's house as well, correct? "

That's not what happens now? Sounds like a bug. I guess that's why it was bugging you! :D Ba-dum. </really lame pun>

Re the second comment, I think I agree, but I'm not sure what you mean by 'destroy'. 

"If a member creates a wiki-page, there should be something in place, where the page creator gets to decide whether it is to be a personal page or a community page. If the creator chooses "personal", then that creator should have the right to do with that page as they want, including having the ability to"

I would actually like something like this too - a bit more formal than the current official banner. A crew member could designate a page 'official' when creating it in a way which would make it obvious to all at a glance that it was an official page and which wouldn't require a banner to be made every single time. It's on my 'pester Hedda about this' to-do list. :P

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: Actually, this was just tested on Elf12 and it worked just as it was supposed to: the page was deleted and the image along with the link disappeared from the bottom of the member's house as it's supposed to do.

However, with this member's house on CatHug: there is a thumbnailed image along with the link still at the bottom of his house, even though the page was deleted over 3 years ago and all of its contents of course, which also includes the image that had his name as a link immediately following it. If there is now nothing on the deleted page, how can the thumbnailed image and the link to the page still be displayed under "Latest appearances in photo albums"? Hedda deleted the page as he also took the ownership of over as well, which of course taking the ownership he was not asked to do. He was only asked to delete it.

*chuckles about the pun*

Well, so much of what I did for Elf12 was destroyed, even a page that was connected to my graphics, that I placed with the contest, so the kids would have something to work with for the contest. By doing such, the people involved with the destruction of my work, also wiped a considerable amount of Elf12's history, which I think also was wrong. But basically, I've been told that all my work can be destroyed by a select few and therefore I have NO say about my work whatsoever. What I find really contradictory however, is that here, [Hedda] banned me because he "assumed" or "thought" I was going to destroy my stuff, but yet, others have been ACTUALLY ALLOWED to destroy my stuff, and they have not been awarded any negative repercussions for their behaviour whatsoever. This is double-standardish or contradictory.

Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of having it designated "personal" or "community", perhaps displayed in the same area as where the "page version", "date and time", and such are viewable, perhaps with a "P" or a "C" even. ..And the selection or choice could be made in the same general area as the title, keywords, password, etc., are filled in. 

If the creator selects "personal", then the creator should be able to have the right to delete it as well and not have to ask someone else to delete it, so that that person could then review its personal content before they delete it. People have the right to privacy period. I would however, recommend having a little box or window that would pop up saying something like: "Are you sure you want to delete this page? Once it is deleted, it CANNOT be brought back!"

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: PS... [Hedda] was NOT asked to "read" the page, either. He was simply asked to "delete" the page only. However, [Hedda] DID read the page, took over the ownership, and then instead of handling the issue on CatHug, where it should have been handled, as "he" has since informed me that CatHug business should stay on CatHug and not brought to Elftown, he brought the issue over to Elftown. I guess he didn't have a big enough audience on CatHug for his reaming me out as he did, including threatening to ban me then over a bloody wiki-page! Apparently, by my asking for the page to be deleted, I must have felt it was a mistake. Also, at that time, I didn't fully understand how the name after an image worked, but I sure found out!

But... if I had had the right to delete the personal page of mine, he wouldn't have been afforded the opportunity to humiliate and insult me as he did over it. The page was also password protected, both for viewing and editing.

Therefore, because of some of the stuff I've had to endure from the heddate sites, I would like to see others spared of the same.

2011-06-30 [SilverFire]: Obviously I don't have any say about how things work on Elf12 - I'm not even a member there (and I don't think Hedda follows what's going on there much, either), but on ET I've tried to make sure that graphics we don't use any more end up in the Museum and that people are still given credit for them.

I was thinking that designating it 'official' would perhaps do something as drastic as change the colour of the whole page, but I haven't really given it a lot of thought past the 'I want to be able to designate this as official or private when I create it'.

The biggest thing I love about the wiki is how every page version is recorded, so I'm not sure how much I like the idea of making it so easily deletable, but I see where you're coming from.

I don't really want to comment on the final bit, because I have no idea what went on, what was on the page, or anything at all about it really, though from what you're saying it sounds like the name after the image thing still works even if the page is password/forum protected? Which to me sounds a bit odd... It's a private page, why is something from it being displayed publicly? :/ I guess I'll have a faff and bring it up in suggestions/bugs forum.

2011-06-30 [Artsieladie]: Hedda even said that he doesn't have anything to do with Elf12 when he told me that I could do with Elf12 as I liked. ..But then, he reneged on his word and removed me as the site's moderator and he also made damn sure that I was publicly humiliated there when he did it. I did ask Hedda a long time ago if he hated me. Well, he must, because he has certainly gone out of his way to insult me, humiliate me, etc., every bloody chance he gets. I should have picked up on this many years ago. I would have saved myself a whole lot of time, effort, money, and humiliation for sure! But then keeping such a close eye on me as he does, doesn't really make a whole lot of sense either. One doesn't usually bother themselves with a person they despise after all. Oh, but I'm sure he'll dispute this, too!

There are many places (wikis) that aren't worked with or used any more on Elftown, but they are still a part of this site's history. It is usually the norm to preserve the history. It's nice to be able to look back and see how things were and then compare to the current status. History is the soul of a place, whether it be real or online. If it wasn't important, then it wouldn't be a subject taught in schools. I'm pretty sure most everyone that has gone to school has had to take "history" classes: their country's history, their state or providence's history, world history, etc..

Having a different colour for a page is a good idea, too. Speaking of colour, I think it would be nice to be able to have "wiki-page environments". There could be a variety to choose from that members could create to be used by members or people could learn how to make their own wiki-page environments (backgrounds). ...And Elftown's wiki system would be even more awesome. I think it would be also something people would have to donate to Elftown for to be able to use the feature, something similar to having the ability to use colour in the houses when they donate.

Yes, I too appreciate the page versions. In fact they really also are a bit of history. But if someone has a personal wiki-page with content on it they no longer want or want on a wiki-page, then all the versions of, they are unlikely to want either.

Umm.. well this was part of the "whole" picture for the purpose of providing all the possible pertinent information I could think of. But the main oddity, is the fact that the page has been long gone (over 3 years), but an image that was on the page, is still showing up in the member's house, even though the page's content (which includes the image at the bottom of the house) is no longer in existence. It's just weird.

2011-07-01 [SilverFire]: Making it a donor feature might make it too easy to abuse: People would just ask their friend to make the page for them instead of donating. What would happen if a wiki-changed ownership to a non-donor? Would everything just suddenly be disabled – how do you envision that working?

I would say maybe it's a bug that got fixed on ET but not on Cathug, but I'm pretty sure he updates the code for all of them when he fixes one of them. :/ Odd indeed.

2011-07-01 [Artsieladie]: Ah, yes, there are always people looking to beat the system. I'm not sure how the first part you mention could be avoided, but there must be a way. *more thinking needed* I imagine Hedda could devise some method to get around it though.

As far as the second part, it could work like it does for having the privs for iframes. If a person has the privs to place an iframe on a page, the iframe works. But if the ownership is changed to a person that does not have the privs, then the iframes no longer work. However, now in saying this, couldn't this feature get abused as well in the same way as a "background" feature, if it were to be? Hmmm...

Yeah, it appears that he does. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that finds it to be odd.

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: I would say maybe it's a bug that got fixed on ET but not on Cathug, but I'm pretty sure he updates the code for all of them when he fixes one of them. :/ Odd indeed.

He doesn't.

Wri / Elf12 / Elfpack still have bugs there are fixed on Elftown. :P

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: (That was a good hour of reading..)

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Yeah, but no matter... it IS still odd. Eh, but then, there IS a LOT that's odd, now isn't there? ...Ummm... or IS it? There's one very common, all too common, "common denominator" and whomever thinks they may k-n-o-w the answer, please do speak! Oh, but not all at once now! lol

Well, this is not something that can possibly be explained in a few sentences, wouldn't you agree, Stephen? *pokes* ;)

One more thing.... I would certainly like to know what all of you reading this, would do, if you were in my shoes. For all those whom think and have thought that I've been just imagining everything, well, I guess I haven't been after all, have I?

But, may I just say this? I sooooo understand how difficult this whole, seemingly bizarre situation is to accept as being real or even fathomable. It took me a looong time, to first suspect, and then even longer to allow myself to believe such could be really happening! I tried to explain this to myself so many times in a way that wouldn't point me in the direction everything was pointing me in. The countless excuses I made up for him; the denial.

But the most difficult aspect? This was having to suspect the person I NEVER, EVER wanted TO suspect, much less gradually be forced to by too many incidences. But... he wants NOTHING to do with me! Can't you all tell this? I'd have to say, pretty damned interested in someone he is not interested in!

This all began long before the shit hit the fan here, which was back in 2007 (that I know of), but one of his excuses was that "I" was a troublemaker. Will anyone please.. pleeeeease tell me what trouble I was causing in 2007? Also, will anyone also please tell me what right does anyone have, excuse or not, to invade the privacy of another?

....And the little, red heart, he did place in my badge slot the day after Valentine's Day and now I have even more that proves he did!

Does anyone want to know what I'm asking for? I'm simply asking for... "the truth"! I am NOT looking for to punish anyone, ANYONE, or to hold grudges, etc.. I want the truth, because it is the truth that is the only thing which will stop this monstrosity in its tracks.

Question is... who is going to be the 'bigger' person, and decide to come forward? Or are all those that know something just going to sit back and allow it to fester and grow even bigger? If this be the case, then at some point this whole mess is going to go "kaboom!" At some point my patience will have run out and so, I will then hand this over to those that will be asking for a whole lot more than just the truth and of anyone and everyone involved. ..And if this day comes? No one here can truthfully say that I didn't try my damnedest to fix this first.

Pulling any fast numbers, won't be a good idea, because I have enough data to be able to tell when one is telling the truth or lying. There has already been way too much evasiveness, circumvention, patronisation, the stretching of the truth, etc..

I want to work this out more than anyone knows, but I will no longer accept being the "fall person" or the "scapegoat" or the person that several others here continue to look down their noses at. I will not beg or grovel or bow before any human being. Besides which, as I've also learned, something that was made out to be ALL me, was already in the works AGAINST me in the year of... 2007! These statements particularly, were provided to me from and along with a conversation which was centered around me that took place in 2007. The person said: "I don't care how she is gotten rid of as long as she is" and "I don't know what Hedda sees in her anyway". So.... WHAT w-a-s already brewing back in 2007? But yet, I'm this awful person? It's about damn time someone else besides myself gets placed under a microscope, me thinks.

For further reading... <diary:1139747>

Also, even an apology would go a very long way...

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: ;-;

Long messages.. so many of them. You should go into writing, on novels. You'd be spectacular at it. >_<

As I have told you numerous times Sharon, I believe that it would be best for you to try to disassociate yourself from all of Hedda's sites, because that would be a good way to start this healing process. You believe he has you tapped on your computer, but you now have a solution to that. You could just walk away from it all.

I don't know what's happened. There has been a lot of very weird reoccurring circumstances, I know, but there's been little to no solid evidence of anything that I know of, personally.

If there are people who are hiding a truth from the rest, it doesn't seem like they're going to just suddenly come up and admit it all.

And honestly, at this point, I'm not sure who did what to who, and when, even from just your PoV. /=
You've told me conflicting ideals before, so now I'm pretty thoroughly confused.

You once told me that "someone" was forcing "his" hand to act against you, and then you then later told me you believe that the "someone" who you had believed was forcing "his" hand was actually innocent and a victim, manipulated by "him" and his computer skillz. Now it seems you believe that the "someone" who you had previously called innocent is no longer innocent.

So, I am completely lost...

2011-08-05 [SilverFire]: To quote Simpet: "disassociate yourself from all of Hedda's sites"

That's what I'd do, in your shoes, Artsie. And it's what I have done, in the past, when I felt faced with unwanted attention from someone on another website. I just stopped going to that website. Stopped logging in, stopped visiting it. Still haven't to this day.

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: (That would have been a fantastic line for me to make a typo on. 'Specially because I am amazing at typing "form" instead of "from".)

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: But... I have most of all my work uploaded to the sites! Since it has already been proven to me before that I can't entrust others with my work... what do I do about this?

Besides, you aren't seeing the whole picture and I can't paint it and its surrealism. Only those that have gone through the very same can understand.

...And by me just leaving, what will this fix? So I'm supposed to just leave and then so many others can just be left believing the worst about me? My name won't be cleared and then what, the person(s) responsible then just get to what, gloat? Gain some more at my expense?

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: What exactly is on this page, Stephen?

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: SilverFire, it's quite obvious by now, that the problem is not "just" on his sites.

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: I'm aware of what is on it Sharon. :P
You've also explained it to me before.

However, you've also stated that he doesn't have access to your new hardware. So that's free from any possible problem.
You've also stated that the number that's called is a work number, not your personal number.

I'm not saying that I *want* you to leave. I'm saying that I honestly think it would be *healthy* for you.

If he is indeed tampering in your life, if you stop coming to his sites and begin using a computer he cannot access, and otherwise seriously limit his ability to find and contact you, then chances are he would give up and lose interest anyway.

Stalkers / Harassers tend to lose interest in their "games" when the subject stops giving them the responses that they desire.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: The number 634-2293 is in my house. It is classified as my work number because I had it associated with my business. But I also used it for personal usage. It's a PRIVATE line. However, now, if I want to make sure my conversations are absolutely private, I have to borrow someone else's phone. I have a trac fone, but I use that very little because it's too expensive.

I sure as hell hope not!

..And where does this leave MY STUFF that he so emphatically told the crew and God knows who else that I was going to "destroy/delete my stuff"? May I also remind you, Stephen, of: <gb:1139196>. I have been trying to close up shop on two of his sites and on both of them, I suddenly experienced issues preventing me to do so... and these issues are ONLY on the sites that I began to close up shop on.

..And HOW MANY examples, HOW MANY "coincidences" are required pointing to one person, before people finally get the bloody message?

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: ..And has anyone even come to the conclusion that this is WRONG?

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: I'm honestly far too tired to get into a large debate..

When you say "MY STUFF", what do you mean? I've never exactly understood that.

Depends on the person, I suppose. Even if someone does agree with you though, what do you expect to happen or come of it? I mean, I understand you wanting closure, but what do you really want here? It's obvious Hedda isn't going to just pop up and go "I'm guilty, I did it all, I'm sorry." Regardless of if he did or not. I don't understand your line of thinking anymore.. >.<

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Hmm.. and I didn't start this one: "13:57:40 (4h ago) [Stephеn]"

Gee, I don't know, Stephen, but perhaps, you would know what "your stuff" is? Your stuff is "your stuff", is it not? Then, why is it so difficult for you to understand that "my stuff" is "my stuff" just as "your stuff" is "your stuff"? However, allow me to clarify as short and as simply put as possible (no walls of text!)... by "my stuff" I mean ALL THAT I HAVE CREATED IS MY STUFF. MY STUFF BELONGS TO ME AND MYSELF ALONE. THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS ANY RIGHTS IN REGARDS TO IT PERIOD IS ME! Clear enough? ;)

I expect honesty! ..And what a foreign concept around these parts it seems to be! I have not asked him to announce a "tell all" to the world. The world does not need to know. I have only asked that he be honest and come clean with me. ..And to give me the chance to understand why, as I've also stated to wipe the slate clean, to forgive him! Satisfied? I want to forgive him, but "he" has to give "me" this chance. This also applies to others here as well.

I ---- ---! Walking away or turning one's back on a situation never solves a thing. Only cowards do this and I am no coward.

Besides, since: "Honestly, most people just think you're making everything up, seeing problems where there are not problems, and you're otherwise insane.", so what exactly is my leaving going to do for this situation? What? I'm supposed to simply leave, and just accept how people are perceiving me to be?... your own words. Especially when it couldn't BE farther from the truth? Would YOU defend your reputation?

No, I'm not insane. I am not making everything up. But if I just up and leave, then people here will never know the real truth.. that I am not making everything up. If I were making everything up, then I would have very good reason TO leave, rather than stand and fight my ground.

2011-08-05 [SilverFire]: I wouldn't go as far as to say *anything* here is obvious. :)

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: Actually, to me, anything that I create that is deemed official becomes "The Site's Stuff (IE: the Council and Hedda) and I agree that I am donating said stuff and therefore giving up ownership of it. (We've had this conversation before.)
The only things I'd view as mine would be for example my personal writings on WritersoCo or the writings lost within my Elftown page archives.

And to be honest, no. If I were you, I'd leave. My reputation to a group of people online (even if I do cherish many of them!) is not worth the anguish to me, that you have expressed to me that you feel. Reputation and pride be damned; taking care of myself and doing what's best emotionally for me would take priority.

Also: If Hedda comes clean to only you, and you forgive him, wouldn't that still result in the rest of the world not knowing the "real truth", unless you yourself exposed his words to everyone?

And, when I said I don't want to debate I meant I did not say that to start an argument with you, Sharon. You know I've always been your friend and I support you, and I want you to do what's the best thing for you. I don't really care if Hedda is a creep or not (I'm not saying it's OK if he is, or that it's right, or otherwise excusing his behaviour, before you assume that) I am saying that my concern here is for YOU and what all of this has emotionally done to you.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Well, then, I don't know what to say to you SilverFire, other than, that the material presented on this page, is quite obviously spelling out viable enough data to get the attention of some, and even some that are well qualified in this particular field. So maybe this is it. You just aren't qualified enough in this regard?

Since the tech service agreed to finding out where and what my problem was with my computer and how such seemingly bizarre occurrences could be happening, one of the techs, whom also specialises with phones, then talked to me and told me that my phoneline is the avenue being used to access my computer and he explained to me how. I was advised strongly to take this up with the FCC, and also supply the FCC with the reports from the tech service along with ALL of the data I have collected regarding this entire situation.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Did I mention or include "official" in "my stuff"? Do you have over 11,000 graphics that YOU have CREATED uploaded to this server? Not to mention a ton of other art, likely well over 300 of YOUR poems, plus stories written... just for starters? What exactly would any of this be? This is not MY personal stuff?

Right. So you would not mind at ALL that your privacy was being invaded and then you wouldn't also mind being told that what was retrieved in this fashion was then also "shared" with others, especially a person that has been trying to get rid of you for like 4 years? You wouldn't mind? You would just casually dismiss it all and say, "Oh well, dear intruder. Please do help yourself to my personal and private life. ..And also, while you're at it, dear intruder, please also feel free to intrude on the privacy of all those whom communicate with me as well."

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: I'm pretty sure most of those graphics are on Elftown Graphics, so the same applies. A donation is a donation. :3

Honestly, I don't think Hedda cares about your stuff. If he did, he could just as well back it up to a different location anyway. If you want to back it up to your own location so you no longer need to come here to view it, then I understand that.
Elsewise, I don't know what you mean, again. Nothing is happening to "Your Stuff". I don't understand what you want to happen to it, either...

I didn't say I wouldn't mind. At no point, did I say I would casually just accept the entire situation. I said, that I would leave the situation. Previously, you felt as though you had no escape, because your only computer was being tapped/keylogged/etc. However, you have a new, completely clean computer.
That is no longer the case. You can still maintain an online life, and just leave all this behind. That's what I would do. I would take the chance I have now, and I would leave. Instead of staying here, being pissed off at Hedda and other shadowy-figures who you're not sure who they are, and arguing with my friends and people trying to help me, I would leave. I would even be able to keep in contact with them on my Facebook, which means I wouldn't lose anyone. (Everyone and their dog has a Facebook now.)

I think you should do what's best for you, and let this go. Just turn your back and leave. It's not being a coward, it's doing something that's good for you, and accepting that you emotionally and mentally need a break from this. You could make the feelings you have now, the past. You could leave them all behind, and start in a way where you don't feel scared and threatened, and all you need to do is stop logging on a few sites. You can keep all "your stuff", and your friends.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: If he were to come clean with me, the only thing that would be enough for him to say is that his claims that I'm paranoid, etc., were unfounded for reasons that will not be disclosed; the details, the rest of the world need not know.

If he had answered me when I first addressed him on 2008-01-07, what has escalated since would not have, period. I mustered up the courage TO address him at the beginning, when I first began to suspect the reason behind some pretty bizarre occurrences, because I didn't want something bigger to develop. Well, now, look at what happened? Others shouldn't have even gotten mixed up in this, if he had responded to me then... in a "normal" fashion, that is.

Besides, there is more to this situation, that I am slowly but surely uncovering. It is becoming clearer and clearer that there is someone else very much involved and was involved even before I began to suspect anything. As I uncover a little bit more and a little bit more, I am beginning to more clearly see "why" someone wanted to get rid of me 4 years ago and this truth, all of it, IS going to come out eventually.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Bullshit!!! MY GRAPHICS ARE MY GRAPHICS PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: Argh..
I'm not going to keep this conversation going. I've made my point clear to you.
I think you should do something good for yourself and leave these sites before you just completely snap. You have a way out, take it.


Save all "YOUR STUFF" as you like to yell it is, then just log off and do something that's healthy for you.

Also, before you donate things in the future, you should always bear in mind that even if you decide you dislike what you have donated to, you have still made the donation and you have allowed something else the copyright to your donation. You didn't donate all your stuff on terms and conditions, you established those later; once you got pissed off at Hedda and co.

Anyway, I seriously hope you decide to do what's good for you. That's what I'm interested in.

/end of arguement

2011-08-05 [Paul Doyle]: Sharon, all the best wishes for your speedy recovery. May God help your tortured soul and guide you to a happier, rational life.

You guided me here, so this is why I am posting this one comment. And now I am done.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: That WAS done by the way.. within a VERY short time after I had uploaded my Galadriel to, I was notified of the download. ..And because I had made a statement to the effect that I would not upload Galadriel to Elftown. Only 'part' of Galadriel is uploaded here now.

Right.. like I can "entrust" my stuff to here? LMAO! What? So it can get used here even though "I", the person whom created it, was treated like shit and ditched and dogged? Sorry, I watch and preside over my own stuff. Thank you! It's already been defiled once for absolutely NO valid reason, why on earth would I trust that it wouldn't be defiled or misused again? If I'm not here, then NO ONE gets to use MY STUFF without my expressed written permission per piece per use.

Shadowy figures? Gee, Stephen, please say hi to all of your coaches, will you, please? Is that 'brown' I see there on your nose? Allow me to take a closer look. Yepper! I'll be damned! *grabs feather duster* It doesn't quite do the trick. *goes for the scrubbing brush instead* Now hold still! ;)

Arguing with 'my' friends? What friends, exactly? My 'friends' understand and can see very clearly what I'm up against and do give me credit for having the guts I have. 'My friends' wonder why there haven't been apologies made to me. I don't suggest you even mention Facebook, because I have "mysteriously" lost many of my friends on Facebook that I DID NOT UNFRIEND AND THEY DIDN'T UNFRIEND ME EITHER! But this too, is just my friends and I.. all of us just having an over active imagination I suppose?

If I leave, I DO NOT LEAVE MY STUFF AVAILABLE HERE FOR ANYONE, which means that 1000's of my wiki-pages will need to be deleted. My stuff will still be on the server, but then the only person that can be held accountable if "my stuff" gets used without "my" permission will rest entirely on [Hedda]'s shoulders. Sweden is not a "lawless" land, as my Swedish fwiend has informed me it isn't anyway. ;)

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: May God help you with your very tortured soul as well, Paul.

2011-08-05 [Nioniel]: I'm just popping in to ask this question: how do you consider it proper to "take back" the graphics that you donated? You and I have already spoken extensively on all of the other topics, so I'm really just trying to address this one thing.

I have personally donated to a charity which I later found out was supporting a certain network that I despise. Despite not wanting MY money to be going to support that network, there would be no way for me to get "my" money back, as since it had been donated to the charity, it had become their money.

I'm honestly confused as to how a donation can be taken back, or else have terms later applied to the using of it. O.o

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: ... Okay Sharon.
I didn't insult you, once. At any point. All I did was say over and over I want you to do the best for you to take care of yourself. However, I'm not going to have you insult me, when I've been trying to help you, and I've been your friend since before you even knew how to correctly format HTML tags on these sites.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: My copyright to ALL of MY STUFF BELONGS TO ME AND TO ME ALONE! NO ONE ELSE! PEERIODD! I think donating over $1000.00 should be way more than enough, that I DO NOT and WOULD NOT ever expect or want back. But it is only money. NOT important. However, that which is the fruits of my labour, my creativity, NO ONE is going to think they can just use as they wish, meanwhile I'm treated like total crap. Besides, since so many think here that I'm just a big waste to everyone's time, then SO IS MY CREATIVITY. It IS a "package deal"!

2011-08-05 [Nioniel]: But when you first submitted the graphics to be donated, and when they were accepted as donations, you didn't have terms attached to them. You gave them freely, because you love the site and wanted to see it grow. We don't remove graphics for people who have donated and then have been banned, or who have not returned to the site in years and years, I don't understand how the situation here would be any different than that. A donation is a donation.

2011-08-05 [Nioniel]: Also, how have you commented 13 minutes ago when you've been "logged out" for two hours? O.O

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: She's just "checking for more comments" and responding without refreshing the page. (Thus, it doesn't refresh her Elftown cookie to say when she was here.)

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: ..And exactly what was this supposed to be implying then, Stephen: "...and other shadowy-figures who you're not sure who they are.."?

I'm so damn sick of being treated like I'm making everything up, just like Paul comes strolling onto the page and leaving yet, another insult! He can surely make an insulting remark, but yet doesn't say boo about the content of this page. In fact, there hasn't been much of anything said in regards to the content on this page.

Nioniel: I understand what you are saying in regards to the money. As I just said here a bit ago in a previous comment, the money I have donated, I do NOT want back, I do NOT, would NOT expect it back. My creativity, however, is a whole different can of worms. It IS a part of me that stems way back to my childhood, which I will not get into here. I WILL NOT EVER allow anyone to defile me, treat me like shit, and then simply allow them to have a very big part of me to be able to use as 'they' wish. NEVER! I never in a million, gazillion years ever thought that I would wind up being treated as I have been on a site/sites that I have loved and promoted so damn much!!! But what? So I'm supposed to just leave "a part of me here" for anyone and everyone to use as they wish, but while the rest of me is nothing more than a piece of crap to some here that they would scrape off the bottom of their shoe? Not happening. NOT!

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: What? Are you serious? I've been logged out for 2 hours!? Oh well, it's just something else that's s-t-r-a-n-g-e! Add it to the umpteen other "unexplainables"!

A am, Stephen, "checking for comments"? I'm just writing comments. But.. even so, I should NOT have a "logged out" status... since as can be witnessed here, I am NOT "logged out".

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: .And exactly what was this supposed to be implying then, Stephen: "...and other shadowy-figures who you're not sure who they are.."?

You have told me before, you believed Sunrose masterminded this entire thing, and that she was controlling Hedda.

You then told me, that you believed Sunrose was actually being controlled by Hedda, and he had intentionally set you two against one another.

You've also told me that you believe Yuri has a grudge against you and was out to take you out, and I know she doesn't. She may have done something intentionally to irritate you in the past, but she never aimed to take you down. She cared a lot about you, you know. I'm aware you did for her as well, I'm not trying to give you a reason to attack me / defend yourself.

You have also said you believe Kryinn was involved in things, via some Twitter thing that happened.

You've named other names to me as well, that I won't name unless you ask me to. You have pointed your finger at anyone who has said something to disagree with you, and accused them of being against you or kissing Hedda's ass. You just did the exact same thing to me.

So, when I said "shadowy figures" I literally meant you accusing people who happened to anger you at that time. You've also told me you don't think any of them are truly responsible. Which is confusing, because if that were true, then no one would know this truth you claim people know and refuse to admit.

I haven't said you make everything up. I've already discussed this page with you. We've had phone calls about it. A few times.
I've agreed with you that things do seem really weird. There's a lot of coincidences and I've stated it seems weird there are so many. I've never said that I do or don't think anyone is the bad guy. I've only ever tried to talk to you and make you feel better, and encourage you to do things to help yourself out.

Despite that, and despite the fact I stood by you while you've insulted my friends and hurt people I care about, and that I have always been here for you to lean on for the last six fucking years, you can still find it just as easy to throw insults at me and accuse me of kissing ass. You should know me better than that, Sharon. I'm really, really, disappointed. Not because of your Elftown-Hedda-Chaos fiasco, but because you proved that all those years, hours and times of friendship really didn't mean much to you at all.

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: A am, Stephen, "checking for comments"? I'm just writing comments. But.. even so, I should NOT have a "logged out" status.

I've done it in Bob's Diner.
The wikicomments is not a refresh of the page, therefore you can idle out. I've idled out doing it before, and I've watched Akane Ice idle out. It's nothing suspicious.

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: Nioniel: I gave everything "of myself" so willingly, so freely. ;_; I just couldn't do enough in my own eyes. ;_; ..And just look where all my giving has gotten me! Just look! ;_;

2011-08-05 [Artsieladie]: There's a difference between being "idle" and being "logged out". "Logged out" is what Nioniel just stated.

Is this all you remember in our conversations that you also had your own thoughts and opinions in regards to other people? Huh, Stephen? You don't see me airing in front of everyone things that YOU have said, though, do you? Just as with Paul and others that have spoken to "me" 'about' others. I'm not blabbering to the world this "private" talk though, am I? Do you feel better now? You are "sitting on the fence", Stephen.

Does anyone know how difficult it is to try and piece the pieces of a puzzle together, one little, tiny bit at a time? Then add deliberate circumvention by the ones I needed help with from, and it made my row to hoe that much more difficult. Then to see and witness others just laughing away, making fun of me, every time I turned around, saying that I was just imagining stuff that isn't there or wasn't, just helped me sooooooo much! Gee, how can I ever thank all those that did this for me, enough?

2011-08-05 [Nioniel]: Personally, I see donating graphics like donating items to Goodwill. I've donated blankets I've crocheted to Goodwill, and even if the people who ended up with them would rather spit on me than look at me, I still wouldn't be able to take them back. So though I do disagree with you on the idea of you being able to remove graphics you've donated, I do agree with you that you should be able to come to this site without facing ridicule and insult, as long as none is coming from you directed at others. Everyone who is a member of this site ought to be able to enjoy Elftown as the artistic community it is, and should really "live and let live."

Perhaps a break from the site would be good for you. I know that at times when I've been experiencing stress due to Elftown, I've found that a bit of a vacation from logging on has allowed me to return to the site with a new perspective, or at least a bit better of an outlook.

It taking a break from the site isn't something you care to do, then perhaps just blocking those who upset you and working on your own projects would be best. If you feel as though Elftown has given you nothing in return for all you've given, why not leave and start fresh? But if you think that some good could come your way through this site or because of this site, then focusing on how to better things and leaving the past in the past might be best.

It seems as though you'll never get the responses you want from the people you'd like to get them from, so it seems as though you've really only got the two (healthy) choices; either leave the site and say "fuck it" to everything and start fresh, or continue to return to the site and try to rebuild without regard or consideration for those who spurn you.

Of course, there are other choices, just none that could possibly lead to your happiness. :(

2011-08-05 [Nioniel]: You may have just been idle. :/

I noticed that your status was "last seen 2 hours ago." I assumed that meant logged out, but apparently, not so. :P

2011-08-05 [Stephеn]: Yes, I do remember that Sharon. That's why I haven't said everything you've told me. Actually, you made it more than public knowledge you thought Sunrose was hellbent on destroying you.
I haven't actually relayed anything personal you said about anyone; other than opinions you didn't make much effort to hide in the first place.
I've always been on the fence, Sharon. It's the internet, and to be honest, I've never really cared enough to get myself emotionally involved. I care about my friends. I cared about you. I cared about you enough to talk to you about a world that I've intentionally avoided, all this silly drama shit that seems to hit Elftown. That never did seem to really make an impact on you, Sharon. Not that it matters now, to you I'm just like Yuri, Paul, and the others. I'm a friend who "betrayed" and "laughed" at you.

Does anyone know how difficult it is to try and piece the pieces of a puzzle together, one little, tiny bit at a time? etc etc

You know, that's not really any of our problems. Some of us were there for you, as a friend who cared about you and wanted to help you. You managed to chase most of those away now though. You have a chance to leave it all, or as Nioniel has said, you could just ignore it all.

I have some idea on how you feel about your graphics, and parts of yourself that you put effort and time into, and the result made you feel completely disregarded like you had wasted your time. You've made me feel that way. About my friendship with you, Sharon.

2011-08-06 [Artsieladie]: Thank you, Nioniel. :) But items that are donated to good will are items that one "no longer wants" or has any use for. This in NOT the case in regards to 'my art'. Perhaps, if my graphics were numbered of only a few, this wouldn't bother me quite so much, but they number in the 1000s, which is a whole lot more than just something to dismiss casually.

If I had thought that I was going to get treated here as I have, I would have thought twice about everything. Trust me, I would have.

I have toyed with the idea many times about leaving all of the Heddate sites. In fact on two of the sites that I've decided to do just this and so, close up shop, I've been faced with issues that prevent me from doing so. ONLY on the two sites where I began to put this agenda in motion however. Just another odd coincidence I suppose.

As far as trying to rebuild, I've tried this as well, but I can feel the dissension here even from people I haven't even ever had any dealings with. It's so thick here, one can cut it with a knife. Then Stephen just very recently confirmed how so many here still revere me, but he is not the only one that has informed me.

About sunrose, since Stephen has made sure to bring her into this conversation... I have said several times that I am sorry for how things have gone down between her and I. ...And I am. But since.. I have been informed 'by her', that Hedda has been sharing stuff of mine with her. How lovely! Lapping up the gravy makes her completely innocent I suppose. But the real kicker is... she also just recently informed me that she's been after Hedda to get rid of me for like 3-4 years.. her words. (So it would make anyone wonder why it was on her birthday that I was banned.) Which also then confirms what was shared with me, a conversation centered around me in which she stated: "I don't care how she's gotten rid of as long as she is" and "I don't see what Hedda sees in her anyway". ...And this conversation took place way back in 2007, BEFORE the shit hit the fan. So apparently my demise was being plotted even before I had an inkling of what was coming down.

So, I guess she HAS been "hellbent" on destroying me after all, eh Stephen? The key question here is, "Why?" Back in 2007 I 'thought' she and I were friends. Back in 2007, the thought never even crossed my mind that she was 'pretending' to be my friend. ...And apparently she has known all along that [Hedda] saw 'something' in me and it must have been "something he liked", because otherwise, the "I don't know what Hedda sees in her anyway" statement, she wouldn't have made. ..And this is why, [Hedda] won't admit to placing the little, red heart in 'my' badge slot. If he had placed it in 'hers', there would not have been a problem with him admitting to such.

Oh but, wait, I'm the bad person here.. still. Apparently my gut wasn't too far off the track after all.

By the way... is anyone here forgetting the "alarm" that was posted about 'fooling around with Hedda'? ..And then a "Sorries" was seen in a person's mood right afterwards, after the alarm was promptly taken down?

Right Stephen.. It's quite amazing how differently you speak to me when it's a one on one than how you speak to me when others are watching. In private you support me, but out in the open you chime in along 'with' others? Actually, you aren't alone in this respect. Many support me in 'private', but become quite silent out in the open when it comes time to speak up in "my" defense. Please note, I have said "many", but certainly not all. The trouble is, if anyone does speak up in my defense out in the open, they will then be shot down right along with me, which has also been proven. So I do understand why people keep their silence out in the open.

I've had to swallow some pretty hard statements made by you as well, Stephen. If friends can't say or express what they are feeling to each other, then what does this say for the friendship? One example of what you have said to me that cut very deeply is, you told me that I'm consumed with hatred. I'm consumed with hatred because I am trying to defend myself? Do you or does anyone expect me to just roll over like a good, little, submissive, puppy dog? Don't hold your breath!

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